Skin On Skin

Two lovers drowning in their hearts.

We are on the same bed

Under the same roof

Loving the hell out of each other

And we got nothing to prove

Your fingers are moving on my chest

Making sure my heart still beats for you

Girl, you're my whole world

After it was dark, it turned to be blue

69 shots of whiskey

And I can't remember anything

Is it lust or love, I can't tell

Is it heaven on earth or we're burning in hell

We're talking and looking at the sky above

But not everything you say is true

And not everything I do for you

Is under the name of love

-Rassoul

Author's Note

I would really like to hear your opinion about this.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

To my feeble memory, it seems other poems of yours that I've read have been more simply-stated & showing typical love sentiments (a little boring). This, in contrast, is nicely complex & unexpected. There's a harshness in your direct way of stating things that bumps up against the loving sentiments that might be buried within, & I prefer when a love poem is complicated like real life always is. This feels like there's a backload of passion/confusion/indecision/longing behind your words (nicely done!) Fondly, Margie

[Vol]

Rassoul,
Well stated, and afresh take on the tritest of all subjects. Nice intrigue and twists along this thought-path.
Vol

[Nerio]

Proudly passionate, those words really make the atmosphere warmer. Isn't it? ;)
I've always though that a poem is not an aseptic object but must 'stink' of life. It must bite and sting and make the reader bleed. What I like of this poem is that it does sting and bite: you picture a moment of intense passion. But then you add also the meditation: you question the Line between lust and love. The answer remains untold and to me it is a pity: I like when you go deeper with your thoughts.
The style is similar to a ballad, somewhat pop and frankly naive.
Only one note: 69 shots are enough for ethilic coma. I believe it is an iperbole or else the number holds an hidden meaning ;)
I liked it!

[Nora]

Rassoul i am back 😊 do you still remember me ?
Btw great poem , i really loved it , even though i didn't expect that you write that way , lol 😃

[lovebug]

i really love this your storys really touch my heart you should write more like this

[Alex Ware]

This does a good job of highlighting how relationships can be complex and varied in the emotions within them :)

[Ruth]

Interesting...the passion there but a common thread in the final stanza I feel.Takes the reader through many emotions and well voiced...

[Kailani]

Awesome, it's passionate and flows together really well!

[WillaDanvers]

Very well written! It is different, truthful, and simply beautiful. great job!

[C_theSurrealist]

This poem is catching my heart as I read it. It is enticing and romantic. Keep writing! :D