It has been a long time.

It has been a long time.

A Poem by Rassoul
"

Some words about someone who has left.

"
Hello,
Do you remember me?

I'm the person who loved you the most

I'm the one who accepted your flaws

And never tried to change them

Where did you go?

The world's been so dark since you've left

Why did you leave?

You said that I'm not the right person

But who is?

Who can treat you better than me?

Who can give you the same amount of love that I gave you?

Everything's changed since you've left

I feel like a lonely boat floating above a huge ocean

But after a while

I know I will sink

And no one will be there to help

I need you, come back

It has been a long time

A long time feeling so lonely.

© 2017 Rassoul


Author's Note

Rassoul
Just a quick piece.

My Review

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Featured Review

Good job of showing the way an obsessive mind can run thru questions, trying to find the answer to why someone does not want to be with him/her. I notice you use many ideas that suggest that the narrator thinks he/she did the best anyone could do. But these things don't always add up to "love" . . . it's not adoration that creates good relationships. I'd love to see you delve a little deeper into what makes a relationships memorable -- more than just the moaning about superficial things -- but what did these two people DO together & what did they SHARE -- details make a message more relatable, I think. But all in all your message is true to life.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rassoul

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much, always taking notes from you.



Reviews

Great description of the loneliness one feels after losing somebody important. Ah, the nostalgia! But you know, I'll advice you to write a happier piece sometime. It may not turn out great, but it'll be a great refreshment from these emotional and deep pieces. Doesn't make these any less great, though. It's a great piece!

Love,
Vasilees.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rassoul

7 Years Ago

I appreciate your review so much, thanks a lot!
ahh this loneliness when u miss somebody you loved...
another great one.


Posted 7 Years Ago


Rassoul

7 Years Ago

Donicca, thank you so much!
So in depth. Emotional. And most certainly relatable.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Rassoul

7 Years Ago

Glad you like it, Derek.
Good job of showing the way an obsessive mind can run thru questions, trying to find the answer to why someone does not want to be with him/her. I notice you use many ideas that suggest that the narrator thinks he/she did the best anyone could do. But these things don't always add up to "love" . . . it's not adoration that creates good relationships. I'd love to see you delve a little deeper into what makes a relationships memorable -- more than just the moaning about superficial things -- but what did these two people DO together & what did they SHARE -- details make a message more relatable, I think. But all in all your message is true to life.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rassoul

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much, always taking notes from you.
This was relatable and the beginning grabbed my attention. I liked the way you have written by asking a question and answering it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Rassoul

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much, glad you liked it.
Najam Us Saher

7 Years Ago

You're most welcome.

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745 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 22, 2017
Last Updated on August 22, 2017
Tags: Writing, Poem, Leaving, Love, Relationship

Author

Rassoul
Rassoul

Cairo, Egypt



About
I write to survive, I write to satisfy the devil inside. Omar Ashraf who also known as Rassoul. more..

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I can't I can't

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