Chapter 11

Gabriel discovers his power

Hovering thousands of feet above the earth’s surface was sky lee Known to the world as the most dangerous and inescapable prison. Inside behind bars were Ezekiel and Gabriel. Ezekiel laid on the bottom bunk snoring loudly while Gabriel sat on the floor with his legs crossed and hands in a prayer. While his physical body was in the prison his spiritual self was in another place known as the realm of chi. Gabriel lay on a clear blue sky looking up at the land above. Thoughts of a conversation he had with the god of chi runs through his mind.

“Elizabeth Valotto… Lugi Valotto. So that’s their names.” A cool breeze brushes across his back. Gabriel turned his body facing the sky below him.

 “Who are they? Why is my mom dead? And where is my father?”

 Gabriel stared down on the endless sky contemplating. “Go to the belt… all of my questions will be answered there. But no one has ever made it to the belt why would she tell me to go there? Maybe that wasn’t even the god of chi I was talking to. Maybe it was just one of those spirits trying trick me, but even if it that wasn’t Chidori it still doesn’t change the fact that I am stuck here.”

Gabriel stood up observing everything around him. The land above Gabriel was a lush green field stretching as far as the sky below him. What Gabriel noticed about the land above is that it changes over time. One day it will be a desert and on other day a rainforest. Gabriel even recalled it being an ocean above him but no water fell. It does rain from the sky below though a drop of water splashed on the bottom of Gabriel’s foot. With nowhere to take cover he was forced to get drenched in the rain until it ceased. Gabriel noticed the rain rising all the way up to the land above.

“Let’s assume that was the real god of chi I was talking to. She told me that I was inside of my chi and that it was showing me my power.” Gabriel scratches the top of his head roughly while looking around.

“What the hell kind of power is this Could it be that its showing me I can fly?” Gabriel squats down then lunges himself into the air. He quickly fell back to the sky.

“No that wasn’t it Maybe I have the ability to turn things upside down! Yeah that’s got to be it everything is upside down here.” Gabriel looked up into the land.

“Land and sky I command you to switch places!” But to Gabriel’s dismay nothing happened.

“F**k! Switch places! I command you to go back to normal!” A lighting strike came from the sky about a mile away from Gabriel hitting the land above him it was followed by a loud thunder clap. The sudden strike sent chills up Gabriel’s spine. He noticed thunder clouds forming below his feet.

“This could be dangerous what if I get hit by lightning will I die?” Gabriel ran in a direction were the storm clouds were not yet forming. He saw another lighting strike rise from below instantly hitting the land above. That one was a lot closer than the other one about two hundred feet away from Gabriel.

“Think Gabriel if you don’t figure this out soon it might be all over.”  The Storm clouds built up quickly below Gabriel he ran as fast as he could but soon stopped. When he saw the whole sky was black with thunder clouds. Gabriel shook every time the sound of thunder echoed throughout the mysterious realm. Rain began to pour up heavily lighting strikes rose from all around Gabriel he watched helplessly as the rain and lightning hit the land above.

Fear ate at Gabriel like a million fire ants eating on a beetle. Gabriel closed his eyes then began to take deep slow breaths.

“The land is above and the sky is below. The land does not fall and the sky stays still. Even when there was an ocean above me not a single drop of water fell from it. However when it rains in the sky it hits the land above but I’m walking on the sky defying all logic. I’m defying gravity.”

Gabriel’s eyes popped wide open. “That’s it! I’m defying gravity! The sky and the land didn’t switch places I’m walking on the sky!”

Suddenly Gabriel began falling from the sky. He hurled towards the land below with a big smile on his face.

“I can manipulate Gravity.” Gabriel’s body hurled quickly towards the land. His smile soon faded when he realized he how close he was to hitting the land.

“O s**t! Wait no stop!” Gabriel’s body was only a few feet above the land when he had suddenly frozen in midair the rain around him stood still as well. Gabriel’s eyes were closed he covered his arms around his face bracing for impact. Slowly he opened his eyes after realizing he had not yet hit the ground.

“This… this is amazing.”  The rain around him hovered in the air. Gabriel turned his body up right he hovered over the land like an astronaut hovers in space. A wide grin was once again on Gabriel’s face.

“I’m manipulating gravity! I can’t wait to use this back in the real world.”  Gabriel maneuvered through the air pushes rain aside as he traveled.

“Now that I know what my power is I should be back in reality now right? Why am I still here?” Gabriel wondered.

Gabriel looked down at the land below him. “Let’s see if I can make it safely to the ground.”

Gabriel focused his mind on hovering to the ground as he did so his body fell down along with the rain around him. He successfully touched down on the ground.

“Yes that was easy.” Gabriel looked up at the stormy sky above rain poured down on his face but he didn’t care.

“Now this is how it’s supposed to look.” Gabriel sat on the wet grass. He crossed his legs then clamped his hands together in prayer.

“Maybe if I get in this position I can transition back to the other world.” Gabriel thought.

Rain poured down endlessly on Gabriel but he did not move an inch. Suddenly Gabriel didn’t feel rain hitting him anymore. He opened his eyes finding himself in another place but it wasn’t behind bars like he had hoped. Gabriel sat at the edge of a forest before him was a field with sunflowers tall as trees.

“This must be the void I remember being here with Ezekiel before we were zapped back inside the prison. This means I’ve made it back.” Gabriel scanned the area worry began to pour into his heart.

“Were Ezekiel?” Gabriel stood up looking around him he only saw the tall sunflowers no signs of human life.

“Ezekiel where are you?” Gabriel yelled. Only his echo responded

“I know that old man didn’t just leave me here. Wait I forgot time moves differently in that other world how long was I gone?” Gabriel repeatedly opened and closed his fist.

“Hell it shouldn’t matter how long I was gone you should’ve waited for me old man.” Gabriel felt anger building up inside him.

“What kind of sensei leaves his protégé stranded in the middle of a hostile environment?” He wondered.

Gabriel started trotting the field of tall sunflowers observing the area as he walked.

“I can do this without that old man now that I have power I just got to learn how to use it out here and when I see that old man he is going to answer for leaving me like that.”

Gabriel walked deeper into the sunflower field confident in himself. He now had a goal to accomplish master his power break out of prison then travel to the belt to discover what happened to his parents and possibly find out more about who he is.

 

Author's Note

I hope everyone that's reading this is enjoying the story so far.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This chapter was not as smooth to read as most of your others have been. There are many run-on sentences that make it necessary to stop & re-read to figure out where one sentence ends & another sentence should begin. Many run-on sentences would be clearer if broken into two separate sentences using the needed punctuation.

For the first one-third of this chapter, I felt that your “up” and “down” references were a little confusing. It’s good to start this chapter with a reminder that the prison is up in the sky. This helps to start out this chapter with a vision of how this “up” and “down” thing is mixed up in your story. But for the first little while, it’s not completely clear what’s going on. You continue to explain & use examples until finally it becomes more & more clear. Your explanation of “up” and “down” is eventually clear, but I think you could possibly make it clear EARLIER in the chapter. Your explanations are TELLING more than SHOWING us what’s going on.

Try thinking about yourself & your words as the lens of a camera. Instead of describing things in scattered bits & pieces as they come into your mind, let your movie camera pan across the scene in a more organized fashion, showing your audience what the scene looks like & feels like. SHOW us the raindrops going “up” or “down” or whatever they do. SHOW us the complete path of how it goes, instead of jumping around to bits of ideas mixed up. This idea of filming your scene in your own mind might add more smoothness to the delivery of how you are trying to explain things. Instead of jumping here & there (going over an explanation more than once becuz it’s not clear the first time around) try to visualize the opening of a movie & think about how they let the camera glide over the various parts of a scene until we can understand everything that’s there to behold & how it works.

All in all, I feel this chapter is almost like a climax, really addressing this “up” and “down” thing in the most detail that you’ve done so far. Even tho this chapter is about Gabriel finding his power, for the reader, the big discovery is finally understanding this “up” and “down” situation better than ever before in your book. I think this concept is so central to your book, it would be worthwhile to spend more time making this explanation really clear & impactful. You’re getting close, little by little as you go along, but it’s still a little muddy to understand why rain does not fall to the earth, etc. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Rasheem]

Thank you margie this feedback is very helpful to me. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to clearly show what was going on in this chapter but I promise to get better and fix my mistakes. Again thank you for this constructive feedback it is very helpful to me. I will continue writing and get better