Chapter 10

Gabriel enters the realm of chi

Three days and three nights have passed since the imprisonment of Ezekiel and Gabriel in sky lee the world’s most dangerous prison. Ezekiel stares at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. He yawns deeply then sits up on his bed. He watches Gabriel who sat with his legs crossed and his hands clamped together in prayer.

“Incredible he hasn’t moved an inch since I told him to sit down three or four days ago.” Ezekiel thinks.

Ezekiel begins to play with his beard. “This boy’s determination is remarkable; there is no way he transcended to the realm of chi yet.”

Ezekiel grins. “Very good kid this is indeed the first step before you can transcend into the realm of chi you have to display a lot of patience and perseverance by now I’m sure your body is screaming. I bet there are several itches you want to scratch. It’s been three or four days since you’ve had food your stomach is probably eating at itself.”  Ezekiel says out loud.

Gabriel doesn’t move a muscle he sat stiff as a statue with his hands in a prayer and his legs crossed.

Ezekiel rose from the bunk bed approaching Gabriel. He sat down on the floor in front of him. The old man played with his beard while staring at Gabriel. After his fourth brush of the beard he stopped suddenly.

“Wait you’ve already ascended into the realm of chi. I would say it were impossible if I weren’t sitting right here looking at it. You’re not breathing at all. You are truly something special kid.” 

Ezekiel stands up walking to the front of his cell. “We haven’t been in the void since that first day we arrived here. This Ozay guy doesn’t care if we go days without eating.”

Ezekiel looks back at Gabriel a small smile forms on Ezekiel’s face. “We should be entering the void soon kid be sure you make it back before then otherwise I might have to leave without you.”

In the realm of chi a sweet melody pierces the ears of Gabriel. He thought it to be the most wonderful sound he had ever heard. For a while he sat there with his eyes closed enjoying the song. Gabriel felt a great joy sweep over his body. He felt as if there were nothing to worry about all of life’s problems no longer mattered. Then the melody went away suddenly as it had come. Gabriel opened his eyes happiness and self-peace left along with the melody. He now felt fear and confusion. Gabriel sat on a clear blue sky. Above him were the sky should be was lush green grass that stretched as far as the eye could see.

 The sky and land had switched places. The sun shined brightly from below deep in the sky.

 Gabriel did not move he sat very still observing everything around him.

“Ok… ok calm down Gabriel this must be the realm of chi. Remember what the old man said this is a place of madness.” Gabriel took several slow deep breaths.

“Let’s look on the bright side for a moment I made it! My back was f*****g killing me I wasn’t sure I could hold the position  much longer.” Gabriel stretched his arms and legs while looking up at the grassy land above.

“I guess I can walk on the sky here since I haven’t fallen yet.” Gabriel stood up slowly.

“This is super weird what am I supposed to do?” Gabriel looks down at a seemingly endless sky he could see clouds hovering from below. A sudden shiver crept up his spine. He took a slow first step after realizing that he wasn’t going to fall he began walking on the sky.

“Ok I can do this just don’t look down or up its way to confusing.”

 Cool breezes blew from beneath Gabriel as he walked in this mysterious world. What started out as slow steps now was a steady walking stride. Hours pass by as Gabriel walks towards infinite. Looking up at the land above Gabriel could see trees blowing in the wind. Birds flew over the land they landed on top of trees. What once felt like hours now felt like days for Gabriel as he walked on the sky. When night time approached it was pitch black Gabriel couldn’t see a thing but he continued to walk without taking a break. Morning would come then night would come on and on it went this way for what seemed like months for Gabriel. During that whole time Gabriel did not stop once to catch his breath or sit down and take break. He walked with a steady pace forward and his head held high.

“ I know it seems like I’ve been walking for a really long time but remember what the old man said time moves differently in this realm what’s days in here is only minutes out there. Stay focused this must be my first test something is bound to happen if I keep moving forward.”

Gabriel continued his steady pace in one direction. Suddenly Gabriel found himself walking on clouds they were all across the sky at his feet. “Hey my name is Gabriel and I’m a cloud walker!” He joked.

 “You are so much more.” said a voice that came from the clouds.

For the first time since he started his journey Gabriel stopped. Clouds begin hovering up to Gabriel’s eye level a few feet in front of him they began to form a shape. The shape of a women appeared in the cloud.

“Who are you?” Gabriel asked

“I am both the best and worst of a situation.” The cloud woman said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gabriel asked.

“You are Gabriel Valotto. Your mother is Elizabeth Valotto she died shortly after your birth. Your father is Lugi Valotto but you never met him either.”

The expression on Gabriel’s face changed. “Wait... What did you just say? What was my mother’s name?” Gabriel walked closer to the cloud figure hastily.

 “Tell me! What was her name?”

The cloud women disappeared as Gabriel approached.

“How do you know about me? I didn’t know what my last name was until you told me.” Gabriel yelled.

A beam of light flashed below Gabriel’s feet it shined so bright that he had to close his eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for you Gabriel I knew one day you would come seeking power.” A hollow voice coming from the light said.

 Gabriel covered his eyes with his arms. “How do you know my last name? Who are you really?”

The beam of light finally stopped shining what stood on the sky before Gabriel was a beautiful woman with skin of dark gold. Her torso and lower waist was wrapped around a fluffy cloud. Emerald red hair stretched all the way down her back while the rest of her body glowed majestically.

“I told you I am both the best and worse, but if you’re looking for a shorter name to call me then how about Chidori.” Chidori spoke with a voice of harmony she sounded like one hundred of the worlds best singers in a choir.

Gabriel’s eyes opened wide as a frogs. “You’re kidding… the god of chi? You’re the god of chi!?”

Chidori simply looks at Gabriel with a small smile flashing here eyes which was the colors a sapphire.

 Gabriel turned his head away from the god. “The old man said it was a possibility that I could run into you but I wasn’t expecting the god of chi to be the first being I met here.”

“Now that you’ve seen me Gabriel tell me what do you think?”

“Uh... you mean how do I think you look? Your gorgeous the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Please don’t take any offense when I say this but the way the old man talked about you I thought you were a man.”

“I am neither woman nor man. What you see before you is what the most beautiful woman looks likes to you. I choose an image that would be appealing to you so it would be easier to talk with me.” Chidori said coldly.

 Gabriel turned his head back on Chidori “O… I mean I was ju...”

“I’m talking about this world your in what do you think of it?” Chidori interrupted.

Gabriel looked down at the endless sky it was a lot cloudier then before. He looked up at the land which was a desert now. “I mean besides the lands being were the sky should be it’s a pretty cool place. A little weird but cool I like the fact we can stand on the sky.”

“Only you and I have ever been here Gabriel.”

“I thought this is where all the people who transcend come?”

“This is what your inner chi looks like it’s showing you what kind of power you have. If you can figure it out you leave this place with your chi flowing.”

“Figure out what my power is? How will I know when I’ve figured it out do I just blurt it out like my power is the ability to fly!?” Gabriel asked a little loudly

“You’ll have to figure out yourself. My presence here should tell you that you’re not a regular kid even your companion Ezekiel has not had the privilege of speaking with me. I’ve placed more chi in you than the other humans for a reason Gabriel… Your journey has not even begun young one.”

“Well why me what makes me so special?” Gabriel asked while scratching his head.

“I’ve been watching you since you’ve entered this realm Gabriel… You display a lot of patience and determination. This is why I’ve given you such great power. Once you learn how to use it properly travel for the Belt your questions will be answered there.”

  Before Gabriel could say anything else to the god of chi she blew away along with the clouds.

“Hey! Come back here I wasn’t done talking!” Gabriel yelled he looked around himself frantically.

“Tell me how I will know what my power is! Will I be placed back in the real world when I scream it or use it!?” Gabriel asked from the top of his lungs. No one replied to Gabriel he was back alone in the strange world.

Gabriel held his head down looking into the seemingly bottomless blue sky.

“Calm down Gabriel think. Chidori said I’m inside my inner chi and that my chi is showing me what kind of power I have.” Gabriel looked up at the land above it was now a rainforest above Gabriel.

“All man I don’t get this at all!” Gabriel yelled into the land.

 

Author's Note

I will have more chapters out quickly as possible to be reviewed.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the way you start out with a review of where they are & what this prison is about & how long they’ve been there. This is a perfect & brief review to help the reader get back into the story, if it has been a while since reading the previous chapter. This is definitely the strongest chapter you’ve shared with me so far. Your writing & storytelling are both well done, getting better & better, except for a few typos here & there (not many). Good job on dialogue & good imagination in describing this warped situation.

Fourth paragraph, good imagination when describing how the guy probably needs to itch or eat after being there so long. At some point Ezekiel disappears from your story & it becomes a conversation between Chidora & Gabriel only – it might be a good idea to find some reason to make Ezekiel disappear, instead of just not mentioning him anymore. We are left wondering what happened to him & when he will be part of the story again!!?!

When Chidora first appears you write “The shape of a women appears . . .” (this should be “woman” – singular). Very creative to describe her as having “emerald red hair” (contrasting green & red is a startling idea). Right after that, Gabriel opens his eyes as wide as frogs – but frogs have tiny eyes, so why not pick another comparison, like a giraffe or an ostrich – both have large bulbous eyes. Another suggestion -- while Gabriel & Chidora are having a conversation, it would be good to add some “tags” here & there, after a few of the dialogue lines, to continue describing both of them. It’s good to use body language as well as the actual words of dialogue. How does this cloud lady stand? How does she speak? Show me more about her. Show me how they interact. Is Gabriel flirting with her? Is he staring at her? How does he respond to her physically? She’s just a blank in my mind right now.

Well that’s all that I can think of. There’s very little to fix in this chapter, so I’m only giving you some ideas for improvement, if you want to try any of my suggestions (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Rasheem]

It was not my intention to make the reader feel like Ezekiel disappeared or was not with Gabriel anymore. In fact Ezekiel and Gabriel are locked in the same cell together. Gabriels point of view was my focus this chapter because he entered the realm of chi not physically but spiritually so to speak. His physical body is still in the cell with Ezekiel who is a big part of this story and will definitely be in many chapters to come.

[Rasheem]

Also thank you so much for your other pointers. I will use them to the b est of my abilities in the future as i continue to write and get better