Phoenix

A poem describing me and the state I was in earlier this year and how one young woman saved me.

Drenched in rain with a broken wing

You found a bird with no will left to sing

He had lost hope his time was done

He had lost the world had won

 

But you picked him up as tender as could be

Because in his eyes only you could see

A glimmer of hope, one shread of faith

That hell and fire could not erase

 

So you took him in to make him well

Though at first he gave you hell

He hurt youand betrayed you as the world had to him

You thought that if anything his future was grim

 

But one day that bird who was nearly dead

Put down his foot, threw up his head

You gave him the strength to once again fight

He was no longer alone in an endless night

 

So as he caught fire and turned to ash

The small drab bird showed true beauty at long last

No more the broken bird does he remain

For you this phoenix does rise from the flame

Reviews

[Felicity's Eve]

This is excellent! Raya has become an excellent friend to me and is really helping me out through my never-ending health and life struggle. It's great to have people I can count on and talk to. I'm kinda an introvert and i'm pretty scared of falling in love and I've been bullied constantly (guys phisically abuse me while girls talk behind my back) but I'm so glad I have my family. :)
Feel free to message me any time. :)
I say that to, like, everyone and I'm not a stalker, I swear ^^
Let's just say I'm getting left behind by my real friends but I'm making as others on this site. :)
Again, great write!

[Saurian Guardian]

Thank you so much, and I sadly know how it feels to be left behind by your friend, you even need to talk im here :D

[Felicity's Eve]

You're welcome, and thanks ^^
Message me anytime

[Captivating Ink]

I absolutely enjoyed this poem.

[Steven Cash]

Phoenix... nice

I hate Phoenix as a Lakers fan, tho, but that's my sports side coming out

[quinfinn]

well penned variation on a common theme. blunt, yet beautiful. full of casual realism and yet, laced with fine imagery and cobbled with clever metaphor, excellent write!

[Saurian Guardian]

Oh my god thank you so much :)

[quinfinn]

;)

[Sami Khalil]

A glimmer oh hope
one shred of faith... Well penned.

[Saurian Guardian]

Thank you

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...

[Felecia]

Well....this reminded me of Harry Potter a bit XD But all in all this was an amazing poem. It was dicriptive and well written. It's amazing. Keep up the good work.

[Soul Fire]

This is a beautiful poem (: Excellent job! It is absolutely amazing! Fantastic work! I'm glad I picked you up again,and taught you to fly,and rise from the flames.(:

[Saurian Guardian]

Thanks baby

[Soul Fire]

You're welcome (: