The Obelisk

The Washington DC Obelisk

 

I saw a huge slimy serpent warping itself around the Obelisk in Washington, DC. It hissed, twining itself around and around until its head reached the very top, its tail twitched on the ground, it continued to make a hissing sound.

 

Its head turned to the north, south, then to the east and west. It spoke words and hissing as its tongue came out, and cause it to thunder.

 

Men’s faces who were assassinated years ago appeared over the Lincoln Monument, then darkness overshadowed the Monument, I heard the cries and screams of humanity. I cried what does this all mean?

 

©2008

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

A brief but powerful post.. full of what? I wonder.. anger, doubt, fear, bewilderment? More people should read your writing. May i tell some of my friends? You have a strong hand and create very distinct pictures with your words.

[Alexia Gray]

This is a good piece, you managed to get the characters confusion across really well, perhaps because I also didn't have a clue. Only one point, in the second sentence you've used 'and' a couple times and the sentence doesn't flow all that smoothly. You could possibly take the first out and just have "Its tail twitching on the ground as it continued to make a hissing sound" a different sentence, but that's just my opinion! Otherwise a simple but effective piece, well done!