My Heart Is Cold

Rain that always brought happiness for me is no more what it used to be... it made me realize my heart is cold .

Its dark outside,
darker are the clouds.
Sun has gone hiding,
and nothing shimmers gold
or maybe it's just because,
My heart is cold.

It rains so slowly,
wind takes down my hopes.
With every cold drop on my skin,
the warmth elopes.

Where I see nature opening up,
I can feel myself fold.
or maybe its just because,
My heart is cold.

Light streaks in somewhere the horizon,
But its too far.
Out of my reach is our fading start.

So I've been told
otherwise, but I'm folding myself
and there is no gold,
Feeling the fears ,
Im crying frozen tears,
Nothing onto that I can hold
Beacause my heart is cold !

Author's Note

Tell me my mistakes !plz

Reviews

[Robert Francis Callaci]

You have the writing bones and this has the making of a elegant and moving poem. But you have loads of typos and some grammatical errors.

Please don't use an & for an and. It gives the poem an untidy look. You're a little at odds with your punctuation. Use an I not i - Also add the periods and no need to capitalize every beginning word in each line. Use standard Grammar.

Missing the word -in- 4th stanza 1st line.
please use I'm not im in 5th stanza 2nd line and -and- not ans in 5th stanza 3rd line. Use- I'm- not Im in 5th stanza 5th line.

Make your poetry clean- proofread, proofread, and proofread. Typos and grammatical errors kills the flow of the piece.

Fix it up and then this poem will soar....

[Quinn W]

So good! I really felt the emotion in it! Loved it!

[Ananya]

It's a beautifully written poem. The feeling of despair and hopelessness is so vividly described.
In the second last stanza may be if you add...Light streaks from somewhere in the horizon, ...may be it will read better. I see no other mistake as such...but some may say that lines per stanza very so much. Though it's often same for me. Just write it the way you feel like.