Black Coffee

I wonder if god ever wakes up and just hates his f*****g dress. Wonders why he was ever into snake skin in the first place. Why hearing Blue Hawaii makes him cry. Why he didn’t just build the goddamn universe out of Lincoln logs. Would have made memorizing the periodic table a lot easier. And things would just fit together better. Have sense. Uniformity. A certain grace that a universe full of hydrogen and chlorine just can’t possess.

Cuss out the angels? If they loved him surely they wouldn’t have let him attend the cotillion wearing such a monstrosity. Tear it up? Maybe he’s a little thick around the edges and it doesn’t fit right anymore. There’s only so many times you can alter the universe to make yourself look slimmer, then it starts to hurt a little bit. Maybe those days of anorexia left scars. That ran deep.

Would the angels cuss back? Give that s****y eighth grade go f**k yourself I am gonna smoke if I want to attitude? It got them laid when it mattered.

And what would he want them to do? Fall over him and make excuses? Oh, I was feeling sick and I really wasn’t able to tell that what you had on was ridiculous? Reassure him that at the time it was the height of fashion?

That’s the problem. There would be photos. And he would judge those photos later, and he would know when it was snapped that he was going to judge those photos later because he knows everything before it happens. And he would wonder why if he knew everything before it happens why he bothered to order the goddamn thing in the first place.

And when he says goddammit is he really saying go f**k myself? Because it’s in some ways not technically possible in this universe, but by making some slight alterations it could be, and he wonders if it would be worth it because he is so goddamn self loathing.

No. I think he gets his drunk a*s up, looks in the mirror, scratches his a*s and says goddamn it, the universe is a beautiful goddamn thing. I chose the snake dress because I hate goddamn snakes and because god d****t, I think I look good in it.

Then he builds a palace of Lincoln logs and sips on his wonderfully black coffee

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

this takes me back many moons
The periodic table LOL. I had long ago forgot it even exited .
Not that it means anything, just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your "stuff"
I won't do much reviewing, never know what to say, however, I enjoy one every morning with cream and sugar
Specially enjoyed olia's comment

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks so much I knew this seems out there but it came out of my head so I posted it

[Dave Brown]

✔️ .

[Chris Shaw]

I love the way your mind just drifts with this write. These days I hardly think about God at all. I used to until, we sort of fell out when I became really disappointed in his lack of compassion with the poor, sick and needy. And when I realised the b******s of this world get away with it I got even more annoyed. We don't speak much any more. You captured my imagination with this write Ranger.

Chris

[Ranger Kessel]

Thank you chris.

[olla]

ooohh.. such divine profanity.. it's why I knew he understood when I wore my holey blue jeans under my choir robe and said f**k in the girls bathroom at church.. I knew when I read that Jesus wept..

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks for the kind words

[olla]

oh.. not kind.. just as real as I can be.. I'm suffering pandemic fatigue.. it makes me wordy..

[Ranger Kessel]

I am suffering no fatigue and it makes wordy