A Broken Watch

A broken watch hanging loosely over a thinning, shaking wrist. Like a soldier out of rhythm, a clock hand ticking nervously in futility. Marching in place. It's quarter after two in this distorted world.

A moment of sullen grace, hung like wet fabrics filleting in the sun. Parched and forever unmoving.

A ghost. A stain. A tattoo.

Forever etching itself into the same unnerving,, tragic routine

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

The themes I get here are aging and getting nowhere. The dullness of repetition hangs over it all. Many lead such lives. Very effective use of imagery here.

[Ranger Kessel]

You are right on as well as reliving a moment. Thank you

[Poetic Phlox]

After reading your poem, I was reminded of how precious time is... and how broken it would become if given the chance to slip away. Your poem is an excellent display of symbolism, and I am glad to have taken the time to read your work.

20/10 stars

[Ranger Kessel]

Dude that means a lot to me. I look forward to reading your stuff as well. Thanks for your time and kind words

[Poetic Phlox]

Your quite welcome, and I appreciate taking the time to read your captivating poetry.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Really nice use of imagery. In particular I like wet fabrics filleting in the sun. Well done!

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks you for the kind words. Best wishes

[W. Barrett Munn]

Ranger, did you consider parallelism ? A broken watch hanging instead of hangs and ticking instead of ticks?

Thinning, shaking, marching are then parallel and the first two sentences can be compounded to one with a comma.

I agree with the other poster that your talent is obvious.

[Ranger Kessel]

Honestly that is the best feedback I coukd have gotten. It works much better. Thanks ti u and best wishes

[Ranger Kessel]

Im still struggling with the first two sentences they are a tad awkward but I did take your advice

[W. Barrett Munn]

I sent you a message about those sentences. Might check mail on this site.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wow!!! you are gifted like a Poet who can care for a broken Heart.
Be still and listen to the Wind. gently, Pat

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks for the kind words I look forward to reading your work

[Temperance]

...over thinning, shaking wrist. A sad and emotional write, Mr. Ranger. Your imagery captures a moment in time we regret we have to experience. Well done. Temp

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks fir the kind words

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Great poem
I liked it
I like to observe at railway platforms

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks for the read and review

[keith]

a most solemn moment deserving such writing
needless to say, but i will anyway
i find this offering moving, stirring, awakening memories shelved for too long
good write

[Ranger Kessel]

Thanks for the kind words and read.

[CD Campbell]

You describe an anguishing moment in time caught forever at a quarter past two. It feels as if the wearer is caught in a loop of his own making. Very cerebral. Great imagery used on this one. I liked it. CD

[Ranger Kessel]

Dude that's an awesome comment from someones writing it revere. Thank you and best wishes

[CD Campbell]

You're welcome.