I Can't Get Drunk

THIS FICTIONAL POEM TAKES PLACE IN THE YEAR 1984.

I can't believe what the USA Government has done.

They've raised the drinking age up to twenty-one.

I just turned eighteen last week.

Now I can't get drunk and it's bleak.

Before I can buy any booze, I'll have to wait three years.

I really want some vodka, Jack Daniels and a keg of beer.

Why did the government have to do what they did?

It's been my dream to be the town drunk since I was a kid.

I bought a fake ID but the liquor store owner knows it's phony.

I told him that it's genuine but he says that's a lot of baloney.

He just grabbed me and threw me out the door.

It looks like I won't get any booze at his store.

I asked my uncle to buy me some beer.

He got so angry that he boxed my ears.

Now I can't get plastered and that isn't fun.

I can't get any booze until I turn twenty-one.

Reviews

[Onlyme]

I actually thought this was witty and nicely done. Gave me a chuckle. I could imagine so many underage drinkers, doing all they can to get a drink.