Not Drinking And Driving

THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.

Something happened to me a few years ago that was really bizarre.

I was arrested for drinking and driving but I've never owned a car.

I thought that I must have been dreaming, it couldn't possibly be real.

How could I drink and drive when I've never owned an automobile?

I asked the District Attorney if it was a prank or a joke.

Even though I've never had a license, it was revoked.

I hadn't had a drink for a long time, not even one beer.

After I was arrested, the judge sent me to jail for two years.

One year after I got out, something else happened that was just as insane.

Even though I've never touched drugs, I'm in jail for buying cocaine.