My Horrible Ex-wife

My Horrible Ex-wife

A Poem by Randy Johnson
"

THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.

"

Many people defend my ex-wife but they don't know her.

On our wedding night, she shot me with a flamethrower.

Before she used the flamethrower, she doused me with gas.

I have third degree burns all over, she really fried my a*s.

Six months later, she wanted me to see the Jaguar that she bought.

But it was not a car, it wasn't what I thought.

That large cat tore me open, it really hurt as I got bit and clawed.

When I was standing in a puddle, my ex zapped me with a cattle prod.

After all of that, I'm lucky that I didn't lose my life.

It's those reasons why the b***h became my ex-wife.

© 2014 Randy Johnson


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Ha-ha-ha I love this piece honestly it is so funny. well donr ;p

Posted 10 Years Ago



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102 Views
1 Review
Added on September 6, 2014
Last Updated on September 6, 2014
Tags: Comedy, Fiction, Funny, Humor, Jaguar

Author

Randy Johnson
Randy Johnson

TN



About
I was born in Middlesboro, Kentucky on August 20, 1971. I've lived in East Tennessee since 1973. My hobbies are writing and drawing. more..

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