I'm Rosco P. Coltrane

This poem was inspired by the Dukes of Hazzard TV show.

I'm the sheriff and my name is Rosco P. Coltrane.

People in Hazzard know that the P is for pea-brain.

I work for Commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg.

He hates the Dukes and he also hates my dog.

I usually get a cut of the take from my fat brother-in-law.

I love his evil schemes and I love to pinch his flabby jaws.

Everybody knows that I'm a bumbling sheriff, I'm sure not a genius.

I can't catch the Duke boys and neither can my dipstick deputy Enos.

After wrecking all of those patrol cars, I was pretty damn lucky to survive.

But my character came to an end anyway when the Dukes of Hazzard was cancelled in 1985.