Black White & Grey

Unexpected things happen all around us. Sometime we just need to open our eyes , in our minds as well.

I knew I shouldn’t be taking that train the moment I had bought the ticket. A black cat crossed my path on the way to the station; I bumped into an old lady in a hurry and was still digesting all the curses hurled at me when I stepped into a pool of squished tomatoes and garbage. As if all these were not enough of a bad omen, this had been happening around 1 am in the night. Delhi winters are dark, but they sure seem darker and spookier when one is walking alone on the dusty floors of a railway station. I always preferred a flight or atleast a morning train or a bus especially when I’m travelling all by myself, but I absolutely had to be in Shimla the next day for a friend’s wedding, and my entire group had already reached the ‘Destination wedding’ venue. I know I could’ve gone with them but sometimes it takes a little extra effort to get approval from parents, then some more to arrange for tickets and then just a tad bit more to hide from them that you’re boarding an overnight train, alone!

Thankfully I had seen Jab we met, so I knew what not to do. I had a very small bag with just some casuals for the day, and my favorite pink lehnga for the wedding ceremony. i had my water bottle with me, a novel and my ipod, and I was set for my journey. I had just reached the platform when the train came to a halt with the coach AC-2 right infront of me. I whispered a silent ‘Jai Mata Di’ to myself and boarded the train. The coach was not much crowded as expected. I took my seat on the lower berth by the window and heaved a sigh of relief finding no noisy kids or complaining grumpy old men. There was a boy in his teens, sitting by the window on the other side playing something on his cell phone and a middle aged man sleeping on the side berth. I took a sip of water and waited for this lonesome trip to begin. I just wanted to listen to some music and maybe sleep for a couple of hours. I had taken a risk but felt that adrenaline rush doing this all alone, and for once I was proud of myself. 

Soon we were huffing and puffing our way through the capital towards the outskirts, making our way to the queen of hills. I spread the sheets on the berth and lied down with the ipod plugged in. I clutched the bag in my arms and with Enrique’s husky voice singing ‘Hero’ into my ears, I drifted to my dreamland.

I woke up with a start. ‘What just happened?’ The train had come to a stop somewhere on the outer. ‘How long has it been?’ I had no track of time. I looked at my watch. It was 2:30 am. I’d been asleep for only an hour. I checked my bag. It was there. I looked around. The boy was gone. ‘Was there a station on the way already? Why do I care?!’  The man was now awake, sitting with folded legs and a small brown leather suitcase infront of him. He looked at me and gave a polite nod. ‘Oh God!’ I could hear mom’s voice loud and clear in my head now “Don’t talk to strangers!”  My eyes were searching for something else to focus on when the man opened the suitcase. He took out a rope and a red rose and placed them on the suitcase. His gaze was fixed on them and he almost seemed hypnotized by these objects. For a moment I thought, ‘What a cynical crackpot!’, and just then it hit me! What was I planning to wear for the wedding? My lehnga. And what was I planning to team it up with? My diamond earrings I received as a gift from dad last month on my 25^th birthday. The very small bag I was clutching in my arms suddenly weighed a ton. ‘Did this man know what I have in here?  I just saw a man with a rope. What does he plan on doing?  Was there a knife too? Where did the boy go? Was he his sidekick in this looting the fellow passengers act? Do I still have the pepper spray in some pocket of this bag?’

I sat upright at this train of thought and forced myself to focus. I knew I could atleast scream or pull the chain if something happened. I was only thinking of getting up and going to the next coach when the train started with a jerk. I sat back down and looked at the man. Our eyes met. I wished I could telepathically say I am not scared, but I’m sure all that my gaze conveyed was ‘Please don’t kill me!’  I was now frantically searching for the pepper spray in my bag when I sensed a movement. That man had come and sat on the opposite berth. I stood up with a jolt with my hands reaching out to pull the emergency red chain.

“What happened? Is everything Ok” The man said in a very polite gentleman’s English. 

I was genuinely taken aback. I could not bring myself to pull the chain now and hand this man over to the cops. I sat back in my berth, with the bag still tightly held in my arms and my eyes fixed on this weird stranger.  He shuffled in his seat and his hand went to extract something from his pocket. I almost opened my mouth again to scream when he said “What’s wrong? Who do you think I am?” He said it with such a sad smile that I could only feel pity for him. He was taking out his business card. He handed it to me. “I don’t sleep well when I’m travelling. I get restless and tend to switch berths”

‘Yeah right’, I said to myself as I started reading his business card.

“GABO

Nowhere Everywhere”

“What’s this? Are you really as crazy as I think you are?” I said sarcastically looking at this stranger pointing towards the square piece of a silver paper I my hand.

“Why do you think I’m crazy? That’s my name. What’s so weird about it?”

“Oh. Everything is fine. It’s just that I don’t know the location of Nowhere and everywhere!!!!!” I said.

His voice was deep and serene. “I wish the mortals knew this very thing. They keep searching for it everywhere but it’s nowhere. And what they think is nowhere is everywhere.”

This man has lost it. I was so sure that he was some drunk who took the overnight trains just for the sake of it, played around with his scared ignorant fellow passengers, and then maybe hung them to death with his rope and plucked a petal of the rose just to keep a count.

I could stand it no longer. I was scared but I couldn’t let the man see it. The best way out was to get to some other berth where few people were awake, or maybe even the next coach. I got up and stood in the aisle. To my horror there was no one else in the coach. I ran till the door. It was locked. I ran to the other side. Locked as well. I wanted to scream now, but no words came out. I pinched myself hard to wake up from this nightmare but all I felt was the pain through my arm. ‘God please save me!’ was all my mind could think of.

“You keep thinking of me yet when I talk to you, you’re scared. Funny race you humans.” said the man, as he stood next to me.

“Who are you? What do you want? Please don’t hurt me. You can have my bag and anything you want. Please spare me. I beg of you.” I said through sobs which were now coming more frequently.

“I am just a messenger. You kept calling me every moment of the last few months and now that I’m here you can’t recognize me? Oh right, you people are so used to the mythical form of mine that a more believable me gets so difficult to comprehend.” With this, he smiled at me and then all I could see were the seven colors of the rainbow emerging from a bright light through the mist that now filled the coach. I was dumbfounded. I knew I was hallucinating but I had already pinched myself. ‘Oh god what’s happening?!’ By now I had quietened a bit. Maybe that serene peaceful voice made me or I was slowly succumbing to my fate.  “Are you God? Am I deaming?” I said.

“No dear, I am just the messenger. I thought you would know after reading my card. GABO means ‘God Allah Bhagwan Onkar’ . I belong to nowhere yet I’m everywhere. I could’ve had a longer name but then I don’t really need any in the first place. I’m just a feeling, a faith, a hope. “

The surge of emotions I felt in my heart was something I had never experienced before. I felt lightness and a calm spreading over me.

“But why have you come to me? What happened to others in this coach? Is this all for real?” I almost whispered.

“The people are all still here my dear, but we are now in the other realm where no one can see us. I am still too fragile a concept for all the mortals to see at once. Can’t take that risk yet. Maybe I will, the day all you people start calling me with the same name.” His voice came as a soft echo through the mist.

“Can I see you now please?” I pleaded. I couldn’t talk to a light in the mist anymore.

And in the blink of an eye, that man Gabo, was right infront of me again.

“I am here for a reason. You asked for help like a million times in the last few weeks. Earlier I thought maybe hope would help you through but you are a stubborn child. I wanted to show you something. See this rope and the rose?” He said pointing towards the little objects that lied on his suitcase.

“I was wondering what they’re for.” I said with a sheepish grin.

“The rose is for love. It has thorns which mean it may hurt a little once in a while when you don’t handle it with the care it deserves, but the fragrance of it means hope and the color stands for life. It may fade as it ages, but you’ll always remember how beautiful it once was.”

“Now look at the rope”, he said. “Do you ever tie a bunch of roses with a rope or a delicate ribbon? This rope is what ties us to our past. So frequently we tie our bunch of roses with this rope so tightly that all we then see is the rope. We think its covering the thorns but all it does it make it bruise our hands. Tighter we pull at it, more it hurts. It’s the rope we hold our pasts with. It’s hurting us but seldom do we take notice because we are so busy pulling on it, trying to bring the past closer. Don’t crush the rose. Sometimes true courage is not in holding on tightly but in letting go.”

A tiny drop of tear escaped my eye. I closed my eyes and the memories came flooding in. My hand gripped the metal bar on the berth tightly till my knuckles turned white. Suddenly the train stopped with a jerk. I lost my balance and fell to my side. I tried holding onto something but my hand slipped. My head was about to hit the corner of the metal table between the berths, when I got up. I could hear noise outside the window and see more people in the coach. ‘Where did the man go? What happened?’ I looked outside the window. Train had reached Shimla. “I know I wasn’t dreaming!!” My arm still had a pink spot where I had pinched it to see if I was asleep earlier. I searched for the man in the entire coach but he was gone. I came back to my berth only to find the rose laid gently on my bag. I still don’t know what it all was. I just took my bag and got down the train. It was early morning and sun was still trying hard to make its way through the fog. I hailed an auto for my friend’s house. Out of curiosity, I opened my bag to check if all my stuff was there. It was intact, my wallet, iPod and my earrings. I thought of my dad’s smiling face, mom’s tight hug as she said ‘Happy Birthday’ and my brother’s pat on the back and his classic wink. “I am going back home after this wedding.” I said with a new resolve. With this, I took the photo out of my wallet and tore it into pieces just as this guy had torn my heart a few months back. I watched as the shreds of paper were taken far from me by the wind. I had let go of the rope bruising my hand and I was eager to run back home to the love that was right then made me feel like the luckiest daughter in the world.

Reviews

[nibhz]

a wonderful story capturing the very truth of life and the deep secret of happiness that humans usually forget! a story well written keeping the reader's interest alive till the end and leads to introspection! good work! keep writing!

[Talkative Thoughts]

Thank you for the motivating words Nibhz. I am glad you enjoyed reading my first short story :)