Not to be Titled.

Please don't ask...

When I wake and I can't find any proof.

Hands bound by unwelcome dreams.

Why am I crying?

Why so near to you I almost scream?

When I cast about, need something real.

Belly clenched in unforgiving pain.

Are you still dying?

How am I both cold and inflamed?

When I can still feel you breathe on me.

Oh F**k, I can't breathe.

Do you know I'm trying?

Does any of this ever, ever leave?

When I can't smell you on the air.

I still remember your heartbeat.

I'm done with lying.

Can I quit? Admit f*****g defeat?

When I hear you moving around.

Nothing even tastes the same.

Is it like flying?

I can't even say your name.

When it's just air.  Nothing else.

As I wait.  As I wait and as I wait.

No too quiet sighing.

And I know.  I'm too late. I was too late.