America is falling

I had to write this for English but i got so much feed back i thought id publish it.

I hear America falling, the desperate songs dark and cold.
The children crying for a mother and father who can’t appease their pleas.
A man working the hours from dusk to dawn, but failing to sing his tune
The girl sobs her song as the father places the quivering canine on the table for his end
For the bills are too high and the food bowl is never enough.
A young mother pulls the toddler away from the toy, maybe next time, or the time after that, maybe never.
Hiss cries the cat, squeak says the rat, bark growls the dog, not a children’s book but the melody of these melancholy creatures.
Repetition and repetition is the bag boy’s dull beat, but maybe someday he can buy her that ring.
A low beat leads the thud of shoes on the sidewalk as the beaten down workers wander through cold concrete jungles.
Muffled tunes of tears echo along the homeless woman’s alley as she holds her baby doll close and closer the remnants of sanity.
The people fall into songs that echo the pain and suffering they endure as America falls.

Author's Note

be critical...or not

Reviews

[SW..if..TY]

Holy crap!!!! Very well done!! Loved it!! America the brave, still fears what we don't know

[PossiblyAlice]

Thank you

[David the writer]

This was great, very original. I felt as though I toured a very sad, dull land. Good, job

[PossiblyAlice]

Thank you, that was the feeling I was striving to convey.

[David the writer]

Np, you succeeded through a very good metaphor

[The Analog Kid]

This is a very pertinent theme. Nice job!

[PossiblyAlice]

Thank you :)

[The Analog Kid]

sure any time!

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Wow. The imagery here is on point. The last two lines are killer as well!!

[trainwreck]

There is nothing really to criticize. Great write! Its one of the best poems about the US I've read in quite a long time.

This is excellent, the way you wrote it. I couldn't stop reading, very interesting a very good piece here.

[Seshat Nidaba]

I love the topic, the cause, the style. Very worth reading. Hey write like this anytime, I'll be the first to read it.

[Sashalee]

woooooooooooowwww!!!!!!!! i love this alot