The Stone that Remains

Every spiritual aspirant goes through a lot. The good and the not so good. This narrative subtlely presents the ups and downs, on the way to self-realisation.

Off I go into the woods, really wishing incessantly for hope, bearing a countenance that I myself could perceive as one that was flushing with something that indicated an irresistible search. Dark and dank, the forest embraced the moonlight which trickled through the intricate tangle of branches, neatly permeating a uniform glow, subtle and white, evenly across the ensconced vastness. It had just rained, and still was, and the trees quivered shedding droplets that glinted while caressing the moonlit mist, while at the same time clattering pleasantly against the forest floor, bedraggling the lush undergrowth. A soothing petrichor wafted through the atmosphere, almost as though trying to somewhat satiate my thirst, and thus trying to put an end to my search.

But I seemed to be dissatisfied even with such secluded pleasantness, and continued on, believing there’s something special beyond my reach, at least temporarily. All this was immediately succeeded by something rather strange and mysterious. There lay ahead of me, a bit farther though, an illuminated spot in the obscurity of the forest. It was like none other; not a bit like anything that I have seen. Just the act of glancing at it injected peace, and I started to get an idea about what I was searching for. I felt all that was happening was utterly serendipitous, and I didn’t even wish for it; in fact, I hadn’t wished for anything. Meandering listlessly, I hadn’t even tried to think of anything.

The bright glow seemed to creep into a nearby rillet and reflected off brief hints of a peaceful blue radiance. The wind now had begun to confront the trees with its might, slowly and gradually accreting more and more power. It almost seemed like each tree it confronted gave off its energies and contributed to the wind’s zeal. What seemed like a disciplined drizzle had now grown into a squabbling storm. I knew I had to get past a small but steep knoll on my way, as I had already unconsciously grasped a detail or two the first time I took an earnest stare at the vague glow. It was all dark as hell, except for the glow. I was starting to get drenched with the sky’s tears; who knows why she cried so profusely yonder. Or did she?

I drew near a towering Oak, staged majestically amidst his minuscule relatives. He seemed to exude out magnanimity and gave the comfort of a mother. The fresh, inchoate bond between us grew, for he had spread his vast canopy atop, forbidding as many raindrops as he could. I turned my frigid neck away from the direction I was used to keeping my neck in; I was a curious lad. A twee squirrel, which looked like it had taken a fall from a branch above, stood shivering with helplessness. I stroked its back, which was soggy with freshly absorbed rain, and laid it on my lap. It seemed to enjoy the warmth of my lap, and its innocence was something I couldn’t ignore. Quickly did I become attached to it. Keeping it as close to myself as possible, which ensured maximum warmth and cosiness, I slowly rested my back against the rough trunk.

Thud! A branch just fell a centimetre away from my thigh. Both the squirrel and I woke up in a flash. Literally too. Carefully laying the squirrel in one of the dimples on the trunk (the dimple was as big as a large, well-carved hole), and making sure it was as dry as it could get, I thanked The Tree heartfully and bid goodbye to the squirrel, who’s eyes twinkled ingenuously. I couldn’t believe I had slept for almost an hour.

The storms’s rage didn’t wane down a bit; in fact, it had only doubled-up its fury. It was getting irritatingly slippery, the forest floor. It was almost as though each rock I slipped off chortled at me. Actually, it is the lichens and moss that I had to blame. Poor rocks. I tottered on with all the more avidity, as I drew closer and closer. Sudden bursts of thunder and lightning bewitched me, but only temporarily.

The knoll was actually pretty easy to get past. It had been hiding something remarkable all this while. In the middle of the glow, there was something solid and opaque like a stone, but radiated a powerful blue hue; it did something inexplicable. All the pain accumulated after traversing such a treacherous terrain suddenly seemed to dwindle down. I grew extremely restless, in a sense. I started to pine for it -" the stone. It felt like it was pulling me closer. Though that strange thing made me experience something like euphoria, it would seem to oscillate between inducing that blissful, contented state and inducing something quite contrary to it -" a horrible state. The latter was something that made me feel extremely desolated and rueful -" it was revealing to me the bad in me; the dark side of myself. This oscillation, which lasted some time, was abruptly succeeded by this rather eerie act of mine. I instinctively grabbed the stone out of its position at the centre of that beautiful glow. I swallowed it. I felt it dissolve as it made its way through my body. Then there was brilliance pervading the forest; in fact, there was no forest, no glow, no stone. I was, and am.

- The Happy Slave