Blinded By The Unseen

         Can I let you go now?

Your heart’s so heavy I can’t bear it anymore.

Can I turn around and leave now?

There’s nothing left to see in those eyes of yours.

 

Can you just let me go?

I’m afraid and my side of field has withered.

 

 

What’s with those words coming out of your mouth?

Our eyes has lost their spark. Look at us!

Don’t talk about revenge!

I can not put my faith into these hands…these hands, what have they done?!

Why you have blood on them?

Why…I can’t breathe?

Why my eyes can’t see?

What’s with this hole in my chest?

Why is it empty?

What have you done, you devil of my soul?

Oh I should have kept my mouth shut and simply walk out that door?

 

You didn’t kill enough in me, did you?

You want more…always wanted more.

This is your revenge? What for?

I always locked the door so the wind won’t join us,

It was you that always loved to unlock it!

WHERE did I hide my eyes through all this time?!

Why I never opened the door when my heart was knocking?

But it’s alright, I do forgive you. What else could I do now?

Go ahead and leave with my heart, if that is what makes you happy. It’s dead, you know that, right?

I will lay down now…slowly, so I won’t shed any tears.

Is it winter already? Oh you fool girl how long did you sleep?

Better. I will lay down on the snow,

Hope for the cold to freeze my dreams… and my wings

Just to be sure they won’t leave me alone.

Maybe one day the sun will rise again… and I’ll need them.

Reviews

[highthought]

i was waiting to read something about hope and here u are u said it tin the end..i read a lot like that but most without hope,,u did give a good pic for the situation, its really sad , u did touch my heart,,after all life goes on

[Becky C Strukamp]

Love the passion in this poem. Wonderfully penned.

[Jeremy Baker]

The intensity and passion in this writing leaves me a little breathless. Amazing poetry!

[chelsxxx]

i love this poem

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

"Hope for the cold to freeze my dreams… and my wings"
That was a beautiful line.
You write with so much loss--
I'm sorry, yet thankful for the read.

[Macy A. Brown]

i like the beginning and end but in the middle it gets a little cluttered
i like the explaining of the feelings

[Steph K]

The arrangements of questions in the middle is uniquely drawing and I especially like the contrast of frozen dreams and freedom. " Hope for the cold to freeze my dreams...and my wings" . Sometimes you read something and you feel inspired. Amazing.

[Kat Collins]

I love the beginning and ending of this poem. I love how in the beginning, you ask questions and answer them and in the end, you lay down, give up hope, ask the cold to freeze it all. The middle gets a bit jumbled and confusing for me. If you had kept the same pattern as you started with and ended with, it might work a bit better and be even more compelling, more impact. Overall, very strong...keep writing!