I Had a Dream of Sparrows

I had a dream of sparrows
four sparrows in the night
they called to me in silence
in dim and fleeting light
Their song, an ancient fable
a tale of death and woe
I had a dream of sparrows
last four nights in a row






I had a dream of sparrows
four sparrows at the door
Who asked if they might enter
I tried to just ignore
their never ending knocking
yet fell beneath their spell
I had a dream of sparrows
Four sparrows sent from hell




I had a dream of sparrows
four sparrows on my bed
They spoke of pain and anguish
Their words swirled in my head
and ripped my soul asunder
to die in dark and gloom
I had a dream of sparrows
four sparrows in my room




I had a dream of sparrows
four sparrows with red eyes
that glared at me unceasing
and tempted me with lies
These black and soulless creatures
A gaze that chilled the bone
I had a dream of sparrows
Four sparrows all alone





I had a dream of sparrows
Or have I lost my mind?
The end result of torment
and guilt thought left behind
As past becomes the present
I hang my head to pray
I had a dream of sparrows
God make them go away


Rakerman

Reviews

[Lisa Burns]

I'm a little sketchy on the black sparrows thing. The whole being tormented by a bird that's usually a positive thing is interesting, but I'm not sure I get it entirely. I keep thinking of Edgar Allan Poe's the Raven. A little more punctuation might help your flow a bit as well. I like the image of being sprawled dying on a bed and praying for them to go away. Is it four because of the four horsemen of the Apocolypse or was that something else entirely?

[RainyDay]

What is with these people???? This is the best I've read in ages and ages and ages!!! I loved it, I was intrigued and enthralled and could not stop reading!! And the way you made the birds come from outside the window to inside your room!!! Man, this is brilliant stuff!! Feel free to review back! Also I will be sure to read some more of your work - you are obviously very good at what you do...

Intrigued,
Rainy...

[---]

I like it although I do agree with Lisa, it is a little reminiscent of the Raven. However, I like how it flows.

~Phoenix~