You walked in with the rain The feather like drizzleThe breeze fringed with the spray Of sprinkling showersYour presence induced the heavy downpourWalking or driving through the rainOr just snuggling up indoors Rain pelting on the window pane Storm raging withinWhenever it rained there you wereLike a singing bird on my window sill Filling my being with melodyThe cool breeze with the fizz of raindropsWafting me or my thoughts away to youNow when it rains those memories drift inIf I am alone And then it is a different delugeWhich blurs my visionThose moments dissolve and flow out
I agree with Phil....This is delightfully written.
Whenever it rained there you were
Like a singing bird on my window sill
Filling my being with melody
The cool breeze with the fizz of raindrops
Wafting me or my thoughts away to you
This is comforting and brings with it such a gentle breeze, ministering to the soul. A nice write, as always-Raj! :-)
When the cause of loneliness is due to the missing sunshine in your life...
It will indeed bring on a different deluge. Tears to clense the spirit and
mend a bruised heart. A wonderful write emphasizing the starkness of loneliness...
as a black cloud hovering over you and blotting out the sun.
Love/Liz/angelinmypocket
I love the rain Raj. Your gentle way of writing is always a pleasant read, and now you have taken my pleasant memory and added an new element, the provoking thought of what the rain can bring, whether real or imagined. Thank you.
Larry
This really struck me as we live life with the idea of love and how it should be and how badly it hurts when it is taken from us and how there in that place we seem to find the most simplest of clarity. The exist of what we are truly made of. Do we have the ability to stand up or will we be left to be this heap of self loathing hate that we find ourselves to be. The words that echo with in us seem almost haunting and destructive. I think you masterfully captured the clarity that seems to be there and the understand of the vivid capturing of all the moment surrounding that time.
My goodness how things change when love drifts out of the window, everything becomes different. Things that once held warmth, hope and romance become icicles. You weave in and out beautiully with this and it reads so comfortably and sits in the readers mind for a while in order to soak in the enormity of your well-chosen words.
Kudos my friend, nicely put together.
Helen xxx
This is a wonderful display of your ability to express emotions to the reader with such perfect words. You go beyond feelings and words and paint a beautiful story. The first part of your poem with fantastic imagery and the rain create such a sensation, it is incredible. The second part of your poem gives a dose of reality...
"Now when it rains those memories drift in
If I am alone
And then it is a different deluge
Which blurs my vision
Those moments dissolve and flow out"
To feel the tears, and to know what you mean, to feel your pain--it is through your imaginative and lovely writing that I feel this. Your writing is enthralling!
"Now when it rains those memories drift in
If I am alone
And then it is a different deluge
Which blurs my vision
Those moments dissolve and flow out"
This is really such a deep piece! I have a very similar writing like this based on the rain and personal emotions with it...
I love rain and these days It's raining 24*7 here even in Jaipur!
Great piece of writing, Beautiful indeed! :)
Flickering and blazing,not yet blown out in the wind...
the flame has to sustain itself when the rains set in...
Beyond norms and overrated sanity
" We look before and after
And pine for what i.. more..