Friction or Compatibility

Just a few haunting questions and thoughts

 

The possibilities of what can happen between two people are limitless and thrilling-don’t you think so? Whenever you think of bringing people together, or of them coming together of their own volition or by some quirk of fate, we are talking of relationships. When we talk of relationships we talk of compatibility (not merely confined to romantic liaisons). However a question arises in my mind- is there total compatibility in relationships or is it a myth? For that matter is that desirable or essential? We are human beings right?!( or so we would like to believe though we are not unanimous about the specifications or the definitions of this species).Then why should we fit together as if we were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to form a convenient collage called society.

 

We have our rough and smooth edges, our unique shapes and temperaments. We move along draping the fabric of life. This fabric is not fool proof armor; it has its chinks created by the fingers of fate. We move along the stream of life being thrown together and thrown apart by the whims and fancies of the current. I actually do not understand the compulsive need that people have to define relationships, give it a name, a flavor or fit it into a particular category. It is much too abstract to be given a specific shape, which is as impossible as trying to pin a cloud down to the ground. It is just people who come together and connect as they tumble along the currents of life. As we move alongside each other there is bound to be friction. The very word friction sparks off a controversy in my mind. Friction helps in smoothening rough edges as in the case of pebbles being huddled along with a stream.

 

 

All pebbles don’t survive friction. Some get ground to dust. The one’s that get to be smoothened by friction turn out to be collectible items! Friction evokes a spark in certain cases; the spark that led to the igniting of fire which cooked up civilizations. Friction of ideas in one’s mind leads to creative outputs, whereas friction between generations leads to unbridgeable gaps. The friction of a match stick can dispel darkness. So are we necessarily looking for complacent compatibility only or is it okay to allow friction that can trigger off illumination and warmth and smoothen our rough edges while allowing us to move along together? However one has to be careful that the spark doesn’t lead to a blaze which can reduce all to ashes. But even then why be scared, haven’t we heard of the phoenix that rose again from the ashes??   

Reviews

Very good insight. It is different and distinct to see how friction between two can bring closer through warmth or create a fire.

I like how you are able to take natural occurrences and bring insight beyond the physical. Insights, after all, do derive from lessons from nature. Another valuable guru we should respect.

A good read

[Emily B]

I am always surprised when I find a new friend in the echo of their own words.

[Michael X]

It is much too abstract to be given a specific shape, which is as impossible as trying to pin a cloud down to the ground." stellar metaphorical imagery raj, its one of the best ive read, to pin a cloud down to the ground speaks valumes, as well i can only read this writing and learn from such a gained perspective myself, becuase you bring
new ideas to the front line, and are able to expresss inteelect through your heart, its easy for the reader to
identify the quality, and that being edified by the messege, to gain knowldge through your words, i'd say i am definietely left with a feeling of wisdom, i loved the entire idea of relationships in context to human behavior, you penned the idea, in a masterful way, in that aspect alone- touching, loved this, food for thought, in the best way.

[Candle in the wind]

Hi Raj!
I finally have a moment to review your first piece. This one was the shorter of the three, and I was especially moved by this piece. Many things were coming to me, so here I am! I am hoping to shed more light on your piece and to provide further perspective to compliment what you have written. Your writing is very thought provoking, as always. While our reviews are to be more about the writing itself and not opinions, there aren't many on WC that are given to that "only."
I most definitely think you are right that friction is a part of society, and even relationships. Those differences can produce a strengthening in one another. Wouldn't it be boring and morose for us to be carbon copies of one another?! I agree with you that it must be monitored so that it doesn't start a blaze reducing everything to ashes and rubble. (That was very well said!)
IMHO, a little bit of friction is a good thing. Otherwise, how would we grow? I also think though, that too much is the culprit behind divorce, and upheaval in relationships. Even friendships are born out of sharing a common denominator, or common ground. We tend to shy away from those we have nothing in common with.
I also think too much friction is synonymous with strife causing a break down in relationships, and as I said above, even divorce.
Biblically speaking, (and of course I do share from a Christian perspective, because I am a born again believer...) scripture sheds even more light on this subject, when it says "Iron sharpens Iron" purporting the benefit of rubbing against one another producing a sand paper cause and effect. The purpose of this in Christendom is to produce a strengthening in the Lord and help us to grow in knowing His word-The Bible-causing us to become stronger individuals, as well as Christians. Because of that, I can appreciate the mind set from wince this concept comes.
I have no misgivings in my own life this has been true to a certain extent. I love your analogy of the scientific phenomena of stones changing composition in the process of friction. We will indeed have conflict in this life time. That is a given.
While I agree with that, I would be amiss without saying, friction can also be the result of pride. A continual stream of arguing and complaining for example can be the result of pride and a selfish need to have ones own way with situations and people. This need produces strife in the heart of humanity resulting in an internal upheaval that results in tumultuous turmoil. Selfishness, which is akin to lust, is never satisfied and continually seeks its own and more.
Also arising out of this is the need to control a person or situation because of an inherent insecurity within. This produces resistance in the person being controlled, which could very well be wrongly perceived as incompatibility.
If the said controller, usually a dominant personality, is continually allowed to have their own way and the issue is not confronted, it will enable them in their selfish quest for power. The act of "keeping peace" so as to not ruffle the feathers of the controller, in retrospect, does them a great injustice.
In Christendom Raj, when friction is allowed to produce strife, strife becomes an open door to the workings of a demonic entity that produces turmoil in the hearts of those involved in the friction.
I don't know many people that willingly submit themselves to a plethora of strife, division, disunity, and friction on a regular basis because of the continual state of turmoil and disrest they produce. The majority of us do not wish to subject ourselves to this prison of defeat.
A home with an upheaval of discontentment is a literal playground for demonic entities. I have learned early on to guard my home from strife, division and disunity and I have found that friction can often be diffused with humility and humbling oneself. (I am still working on this, as I am a work in progress, as most of us are.) This is the very act of compromise and relinquishing the need to have ones own way, and is incredibly empowering, the opposite of what one might think. I also tend to be resistant to individuals that operate in this way because I know it is nothing more than a manifestation of pride. The scripture says, "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" ( James 4:6). I need a whole lot of grace!
The Creator is a God of Peace and so when I see a continual operation of strife in an individual or circumstance, I choose to distance myself from them or it in an effort to keep peace within myself and my home.
Promoting strife, division and disunity and calling it "favorable" is akin to partnering with the devil. "As much as is possible with you, keep peace with all men (Romans 12:18). In Christianity, I strive to promote peace through endeavoring to bring unity and togetherness through prayer and in and by the direction of the Holy Spirit of God, but sometimes that is impossible because the other person may be filled with so much pride, that they won't be submitted to bringing the same. One person cannot do it all.
Compatibility happens when both parties make a decision to humble themselves and make a deliberate decision to prefer the other person over themselves. I do think there is a time to stand your ground, but as a whole, doing things in this way, promotes peace, especially when both parties are "head strong." In this way, peace can and will come. Friction will then melt away so compatibility or at least "unity" can come.
I hope I didn't bore you with my long review. As always, you wrote a very good piece. I enjoy your work or I would not bother taking the time to send you a lengthy review and to comment even on the content. It was well written, succinct and to the point. (I am still working on being more concise and tightening up my prose!) I have long since been known as the "women of many words!"! LOL

Sending God's greatest Blessings your way, Carole

[Natalie C]

Oh wow my friend, what a wonderfully thought provoking piece you have here. If I could I would pin point to many aspects of this piece and lift my personal opinion on all that you have said here. However I think in the end that would be one hell of a review which I will spare you at this moment, but if I have to do that there would be the odd one or two things that I would like to highlight in your piece. Starting with;

"Is there total compatibility in relationships or is it a myth?"

I would like to believe that something like that exists, but to be honest I don't think so. One could be so closely compatible and yet there would always be the odd thing or two dividing them from fitting 100% together.


"As we move alongside each other there is bound to be friction. The very word friction sparks off a controversy in my mind. Friction helps in smoothening rough edges as in the case of pebbles being huddled along with a stream."

Yes friction does sometimes ignites a spark but sometimes that spark, leads to something so wonderful, maybe something so clean and new that it was worth loosing so much

"All pebbles don't survive friction."

Now that is a statement I can personally relay to, seeing that I am desperately trying to survive life's frictions.

Over all a brilliant piece, think I needed to read something so inspirational as this at this point of time in my life.
Thank you for sharing

Btw, the phoenix is most probably my most favorite myth of all times. Sometimes I think we are one (does that sound weird to you?)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Sometimes, I wonder how can you write so perfectly..
I mean each and every write of yours comes better than the previous one.
And after reading your work, I always used to sit back for some time with a deep thinking because your work always leaves me with many thoughts.
And I agree they are really haunting!
The write is perfect though if you consider it as a single paragraph its quite long but the flow is quite appealing.So, it somehow equalizes the effect.
I agree with Santulan that you referred to the other side of the coin, the road less traveled and that's the magnetic element in the piece.
A great write :)

[Wolfwind Words]

I think that you have hit the trigger true! We as humans must live in an imperfect or just off of perfect world, or we won't grow and learn.
You have captured that question, well with these words.

If everyone was compatible, and in perfect harmony. Things would stagnate and people would die from being bored.

Remarkable piece here!

[forfila]

Again, your thoughts are so deep. You have once more given me a lot to ponder over, and I will, and maybe I will respond to this..
I love it


Love
Me

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written, a little hard for me to read with one long paragraph but it has a great message to make one think. Wonderfully penned.

[[untitled]]

There is a fraction too much friction and not enough diction!
Too little communication between heads and too much animal instinct, which does little to
bind a 'relationship' and keep it together. Too many rely totally on feel-good sex, put too much store in it for happiness
when their euphoria is only momentary, however if the minds click so will everything else!
I'm on my soap box today, but I am observant and sensitive to the love syndrome of today.
Cheers for a thought provoking rant...
Helen :-)