I miss you

A poem in which the lover describe the moment spent with his lover. He too miss the moment very much, just like us......

I miss the way you would hold my hand,
And the way we would play in sand
I miss the way you used to smile,
Whenever, to meet you, I would walk a few miles
I miss the way we used to kiss,
I really remember the taste of your lips
I miss the way we would talk up to midnight,
Whenever I felt lonely, you would make me all right
I miss the way you would wait for my call,
But Dear, you are still my baby doll
I miss the way you would write me a letter,
And your sweet words would make me feel better
I miss the way you would cajole your hair,
Though I know you still care
I miss the moment which I spent with you,
But now it's over so there is nothing new
I miss the way you went away,
I wish I would've asked you to stay
For I can't live with these memories,
It only hurts me and it has burnt down my calories.

Author's Note

If possible please point out the mistakes.
P.S.- Your review matters a lot :)

Reviews

[Maumil Mehraj]

A very cute poem, I must say...Just one suggestion- try blank verse, you don't necessarily need to rhyme.
Loved this one anyway!
Maumil

[Rajat malik]

Yeap!!! will try to do so in my next poem...thanks for suggesting....
And you are right i , unnecessarily rhyme it

[Maumil Mehraj]

do well...!

[Rajat malik]

Okk....will try to

[yvo miki]

was this for me ?im not sure

[Rajat malik]

Nope dear, you aren't gone from my life yet!!!
You are still there for me, and I think you won't leave

[yvo miki]

oh I never will so wuch one did u want me to read

[Rajat malik]

this one only!!!!

[yvo miki]

lol alright I wasn't sure

[Rajat malik]

It's okay.........lol

[yvo miki]

okay good

[Jeyanthi]

There is a flow...
well written...
(remove would, insert there is nothing new for there isn't anything new)

[Rajat malik]

Thank you soooo much!!!! for taking out my faults......I am editing the poem

[Rajat malik]

Can you please tell me what to write instead of 'Would'

[Jeyanthi]

don't want to replace, just remove would since you used "the way"...take away used to in 5th sentence...
(lol, i can give a shot to your poem last...
burnt my calories,
am lighter than air now,
so i fly
to reach you again. :P)

[Rajat malik]

What I should write in place of 'used to'

[Jeyanthi]

leave that too....!

[Rajat malik]

But it's not rhyming if or I would say it's looking odd if I remove it....
I miss the way we kiss,
I really remember the taste of your lips....
look its looking odd, Don't you think so?

[Jeyanthi]

i don't think sooooo... :P

[Rajat malik]

But I do....