A dream

It's a poem about a boy who admire a girl athlete and just as the girl is going for her final race the boy proposed her. What happen next?

I was the slave and she was the king,
I stared at her with my eyes glittering
Her face had a different shine,
I just wanted her to be mine
She caught me while staring at her,
And asked ‘What happened Dear’
‘Nothing’, I replied back,
‘Then, what are you staring at’
I couldn’t speak up, I don’t know why,
Maybe because my throat went dry
I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine,
Suddenly, I cried out ‘I want you to be mine’
‘What’, she went blank,
I wanted her to become the champ
‘Will talk to you later’, she said and went,
‘Charu, Charu’, the crowd began to chant
She tightened her shoelace and sat on the track,
I imagined when she would be back
The race started and she ran fast,
I knew this race wasn’t her last
Few minutes later she had the trophy,
She asked me whether I wanted to have a coffee
I was ready at an instant,
I could smell her body’s scent
‘I am ready to be yours’ she said and passed a grin,
I couldn’t believe myself as it wasn’t a Dream.

Author's Note

Any suggestions, If any then please suggest something

Reviews

[closed]

the fairytale-like aspect of this is perfect
great job playing on simplicity to make this a fun and unique poem

-Dream

[Rajat malik]

Thank you soo much :)

[closed]

youre welcome

[Maumil Mehraj]

That was so cute ^_^ ....a very sweet dream indeed...
Charu is her name, right?

[Rajat malik]

Yeap right, although the name (Charu) is fictional, I haven't revealed her true name here :)

[Maumil Mehraj]

yes, i get it :)

[Rajat malik]

Hmmm......Thanks anyway :):):)

[micky]

awww this is beautiful and it brings for a story that i wish i could experience...well done :)

[Rajat malik]

Thanks a lot Micky and don't worry maybe time has something else in store for you....:)

[sapna sagar]

ek na ek din sapne haqiqat me badal hi jayenge...well written.

[Rajat malik]

Main bhi Yehi sochta hun!!!! Par pata nahi WO din kab aayega

[Rajat malik]

Lekin main bahut akela -akela mehsoos karta hu kabhi kabhi....isiliye aur vaise bhi 17yrs. bahut hai for falling in for someone

[sapna sagar]

oho......kuch jaldi n hai.....ye film n hai babuji......

[Rajat malik]

Nah!!! ye bilkul ek film ki tarah hai.....jaise ek film khatm hoti hai hamari zindagi bhi Aise hi kabhi na kabhi khatm honi hai to behtar hoga ki hum use poore maje me jiye....kya pata kab zindagi ka credit card khatm ho jaaye

[sapna sagar]

yaha mai aapse bilkul b sehmat nhi hu.....zindagi credit card ya debit card n hai....yun mathematics nhi hoti.....zindagi mathematics nhi accountability hai........

[Rajat malik]

Haan main maanta hu ki its compatibility par its like a credit card....kya pata kab expire ho jaaye

[sapna sagar]

arey kal mujhe samjha rhe they...aj khud bhul gaye?kya hua koi tention hai kya?

[Rajat malik]

Nahi koi problem nahi hai...jab tak aap jaise log mere saath hai tab tak main thik hu....thanks for asking

[Rajat malik]

Nahi koi problem nahi hai...jab tak aap jaise log mere saath hai tab tak main thik hu....thanks for asking

[sapna sagar]

ok pr aap achha likte hain jo b likhte hain.

[Rajat malik]

Ohh!!!! really

[sapna sagar]

yeah.........................

[Rajat malik]

Thanks.... very much.....
vaise aap bhi koi kam accha nahi likhti

[Briana O'Connor]

This is a beautiful adventure of friendship turned into love. Very emotionally impacting and precise. Nicely penned.

[Rajat malik]

thanks for it!!!

[Rajat malik]

Hmmmm!!!! Usi waqt ka to intejaar hai

[yvo miki]

no it was a very good poem it seems u have me crying a lot today dang u lol #happytears

[Rajat malik]

Oh!!!! I couldn't think my writing has so much influence on someone.....but the tears are happy so that's a nice thing, I think

[yvo miki]

yes its a very nice thing

[Rajat malik]

I feel good coz atleast I am helping someone

[yvo miki]

and I thank u for that

[Rajat malik]

You are welcome

[yvo miki]

lol hehehe

[misha]

Great write! I loved that it was a short story mixed with a poem. Very interesting =)

[Rajat malik]

Oh!!!! Thanks a lot dear..... I am glad that you liked it
#Feeling special

[Sami Khalil]

Dreams can become reality one day. You write wonderfully...:)..........

[Rajat malik]

oh!!!! thanks dear.....
I too think of turning my dreams in reality.....

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...

[prajakta]

a beautiful piece..:)loved it

[Rajat malik]

oh!!! thank you so much....your comment matters a lot.....

[~]

A cool and fun read telling a sincere story. I liked the romance revealed throughout.

[Rajat malik]

Oh!!! Thank you so much.....

[~]

welcome :)