Let Me Be Alone With Me

I love life/I love people. When alone I think of both. The noise of life can be overwhelming. It is in solitude I can see and understand things more clearly..

i wish i was

a bird with wings

to sail above

everything

high above

the homeless camps

broken people

exit ramps

take my chances

above the clouds

look down upon

the weary crowds

let me glide

above it all

the greed and hate

the shopping mall

 

because i don't need a lover

i don't need a friend

i don't need you to lie for me

hold my hand or pretend

i want to ride upon the breeze

let it guide my destiny

i just need a heart i know

let me be alone with me

 

i wish i was

a bird with wings

looking down

on wedding rings

pushed in back

of musty drawers

with musty dreams

of moon lit shores

i want to fly

beyond the sight

of everyone

who hurts for spite

above the wars

fought for greed

a world that's lost

it's dignity

 

because i don't need a lover

i don't need a friend

i don't need you to lie for me

hold my hand or pretend

i want to ride upon the breeze

let it guide my destiny

i just need a heart i know

let me be alone with me

 

 

Reviews

[Nick Erickson]

"pushed in back
of musty drawers
with musty dreams
of moon lit shores"

"a world that's lost
it's dignity"

This sums up the necessity for moments of solitude, to let us get above it all, forgetting all our woes and minor worries and look down upon the world as a whole. Excellent.

The comment about a world that's lost it's dignity is so fitting, one of the reasons we need to escape. Nothing is sacred or private any more.

Well done.

[Amanda]

it is always good to be alone with oneself and reflect upon what is on ones mind....to let the soul soar as with wings and see what surrounds us and binds us to this world.

i want to ride upon the breeze
let it guide my destiny
i just need a heart i know
let me be alone with me

nicely done, Rain.

Amanda

[Anne Martin]

Rain, I'm not sure that I've reviewed your poetry before, and I have to say that I prefer your prose style. I like the honest up-front quality in it. This, I feel like I'm reading through a wire mesh, honest thoughts revealed at arm's length, slightly sugar-coated. It strikes me very much like song lyrics. Lyrics rarely move me like raw wordplay, or an honest yarn.

Saying that, I did really like this:

i don't need you to lie for me
hold my hand or pretend
i want to ride upon the breeze
let it guide my destiny
i just need a heart i know
let me be alone with me

This seems more personal and emotional than the flying image. This is real, and it's you. To me, this is where you come from, and there is no point in polishing it. Give it to me raw. There are a few other individual lines where you shine through, and I'd like to see more of it.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Another beautifully written poem from you, a joy to read. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Aspiring Angel]

My goodness my new friend. I wonder if there is space for me to drop you one more review. LOL I can see that this write has touched the heart of many as it has my own, and that so many of us have found different things that have spoken directly to our hearts in your lines. For me the lines that jumped out at me were these
"i want to fly beyond the sight
of everyone who hurts for spite
above the wars fought for greed
a world that's lost it's dignity"

I have never understood someone that deliberately wants to dish out hurt to another. What kind of
gratification could they possibley feel!

War has been going on since the beginning of time and will continue to the end of time and yet what purpose does it serve? I say we take our leaders that decide
that a war should be waged, put them in a boxing ring, give them a healthy set of gloves and let them duke it out. The last standing is the winner. LOL Very simplistic I know, but it makes about as much sense as the way we live now.

I would love to join you in your flight. As I told you before I come to enjoy and enjoy I have done. Such deep truths in such few words. Something that seems to come hard for me .... short. LOL

I will be back to read more of you.

Blessings,
Lesa

[Celtic Cat]

sniff sniff. gosh this touches me very deeply. I'm trying to hold down the welling up... gah.
The rhythm of this is quite childlike, thought the subject is completely adult. I guess it touches both of those parts of me, which is why it felt like a double dose of OUCH. Great write, Rain... I, too, would love to fly above it all... thanks for being the voice of many. Much love~~

[David Lewis Paget]

More a song, I think, than a poem, with its differentiated chorus. Could be easily put to music. The message is certainly reflective of the introverted nature of the poet, who seeks solitude rather than company. A writer's life is necessarily a lonely and isolated one, because introspection can't be shared. Well put.

[Jennifer Ryan]

Fantastic Ray. I can't say anything else but that. Your eloquence is breathtaking.

[Camilla (A.K.A. Cami) B..]

wow. beautiful poem. it makes me think about how bad things are in the world, but its also really relaxing to read.

[Kenji Light]

I enjoyed the repetition you used in this piece. I feel that your refrain breaks up the long stream of repeating lines in the rhyme schemes of the most important stanzas. All in all, I think that the way that this piece is ordered is finely crafted and very mature. For the most part, your rhyme scheme is very tight and the flow of the words from line to line is pretty constant and easy to follow along with. The message is clear in this piece and the rhyme scheme is not overbearing and disruptive in any way. You use wonderful imagery, even in the heart of rhyming lines, which for many poets is a difficult task to accomplish. Overall, this piece is a very enjoyable one and I have nothing major as far as edits are concerned. More or less, just read through the piece a couple of times to make the flow perfect. That is my only suggestion. But, considering the nature of this piece and the subject matter, that may also be an unnecessary thing to do.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

"i don't need a friend
i don't need you to lie for me
hold my hand or pretend"

Wow! This is great, and so beautifully deep. I loved these lines the most and according to me they are the most powerful lines from the entire piece.

The poem starts up with such an ironical title, setting up the correct mindset in reader's mind regarding the coming lines.
We all are surrounded with so much materialistic and substantial things from all around that it's very often for us to loose our real identity, but somewhere in our own silence, we know who we are and in that solitude only we can find the real person living inside this mortal body.
A very thoughtful work and so very well penned!
:)