Hi Rain, I love this piece, as I do all your writing. But this one is particularly poignant. I remember when I was a young mom walking my babies down the street, one on foot the other in a stroller. And old people leaning on walkers would stare and smile. They must have been remebering their dreams past, and small children, and saying to themselves, "I went there once." Oh, you have made my cry again, Rain!
This was amazingly tender and beautiful. The concept reminded me of a John Prine song Souvenirs. It really is a great song, kinda folksy and in truth I like this better. Thank you for sharing this brilliant work with me, you are a truly gifted poet.
I feel ya, i like the feeling you attach to your write...it makes it alive, breath and you have to respect the piece as a person...not as words and letters :)
I got to say I was moved by this as i reflect on many thing I find sad myself like old farm houses now abandodned and once fertile land used to feed the family and make their living now just dried up grass to go along with there dream of a simple life... well done... humanity sure has a lot of work to do.
For someone who says they dont know, you sure in hell know alot.
This was really deep and I can relate to everything you said. This stuck out the most though:
"nothing is sadder
than a vacant play ground
with no children's laughter
just weeds all around
and rusted old chains
they hang in the wind
with a bent metal gate
that no-one comes in
and it's so sad to me
so sad to see"
I hate when I dont see that either. I feel like I've grown up to fast and it's all passed me by.
oh, this is etheral... like a breeze across the face while thinking on the porch... the pawn shop part is great and so original. i think you have inspired me to write a story. see, you are the live oak tree, huge with branches that spread over the world, giving life and inspiraration.
I found this one more sort of poetic than the one I read earlier. There is a keener observation here maybe. OK it is still personal, but your eye is roving around looking for things to hang the sadness on. Can see the bent gate...and love these lines
... filled with the dreams somebody else bought they sit on the shelves they hang from the wall ...
I can see the dreams hanging there, great stuff! Also like the repeats at the end of each verse which have a real weariness about them. 'it plays at the start, it plays at the end' is also very wistful. One of your best poems this one I think.
A very well written poem. You have truly captured a nostalgic yet sad feeling in this poem. Something we can feel and relate to. Thank you for sharing. Debileah
"Having lived a bit has altered my thoughts of this coming new year from
all those that have come and gone. Life is so bizarre that in some ways, my diagnosis has been a blessing.
"I'm not sure why.. more..