i don't know

Just things that make me sad..

nothing is sadder

than a vacant play ground

with no children's laughter

just weeds all around

and rusted old chains 

they hang in the wind

with a bent metal gate

that no-one comes in

the city rushes by

everyone's on their way

nobody notices

that no children play

and it's so sad to me

so sad to see

i don't know..

 

my soul is touched 

by an old pawn shop

filled with the dreams

someone lost/someone bought 

they sit on the shelves

they hang from the wall

they were somebody's memories

on sale for us all

they all have a story

a history to tell

you only need money

to buy lives gone to hell

 

and it's sad to me

so sad to see

i don't know..

 

there's a feeling i get

when i see old folks stare

are they looking for dreams

that one time was theirs

there's a bitter sweet sound

i hear now and then

it plays at the start 

it plays at the end

how fast our time goes

you can never slow down

our dreams fade away

while we lose what we found

 

and it's sad to me

so sad to see

i don't know..

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jayne Ann Saporito]

Hi Rain, I love this piece, as I do all your writing. But this one is particularly poignant. I remember when I was a young mom walking my babies down the street, one on foot the other in a stroller. And old people leaning on walkers would stare and smile. They must have been remebering their dreams past, and small children, and saying to themselves, "I went there once." Oh, you have made my cry again, Rain!

[Judy M Cox-Rouse]

I love this, I remember glancing at the pawn shop windows and watching the elderly people wondering those same things. As I still do. Time is an amazing thing.

[Lily1111]

Rain you are one of those special people among us who walk through life with eyes wide open and record your observations in the most beautiful way to share with others. You see so much more than your eyes show you - a rare gift.

I have just begun to read your work, but I must admit I am quite smitten with the style of your writing. You are able to impart such sadness and melancholy with your well chosen words that it becomes palpable. The rhyme is gorgeous and is so well integrated. I adore this wonderful poem.

[Nautili]

very good work- the theme of loss running through out is a powerful thread. loss of innocence as well as community, loss of memories and dreams, hopes and desires, and youth. Love it.

[Kenji Light]

I like the lyrical qualities this piece has. The subtle rhyme worked for me, as did the chorus. I think that you make some very powerful statements here. I think that the idea of no children being allowed to play because of the way that the time we live in forces us all to mature so quickly and forsake innocent youth in order to start making profit as early as possible is criminal. I think that the flaws of today's society are hitting us younger and younger and that is causing a major problem. Pre-teens are going out and getting pregnant, or high, or drunk becuase that is what life teaches them. I think that by examining the remnants of a time where lives were good and people were allowed to just play instead of the pressure to be an adult looming forever overhead is a good thing. Well done.

[G]

You see and write with a clarity, but what a price to pay to write like that. Each minute treasured and the smallest things I am glad that you can make others see and feel.

[just is]

This is sad to see yes! I like this cause it tells truth it's clear with honesty and heartfelt emotion that is vivid to see every day. It's a sad world out there these days. But we live it to what we make out of it as well. This is very well written and presented.

[Dalaina Renee]

This really brings up so many good points. There are so man thing out in this world that need our TLC. Great poem!

[Bubo]

I love this, we writers I think take on board so much of what we see, the pawn shop, the elderly people, and you weave a story of what brings sadness just by observing...........I like you look at old people and see their dreams may have slipped by, or loved ones have passed on, it makes me so sad to think of the solitary lives some of them lead..........and yet we all seem to follow a similar path...........beautiful work Rain.

[Aspiring Angel]

I am hoping that I am not going to show up twice here in the same review. LOL The Cafe seems to be wanting to play games with me this morning. I guess this is take two.

You put your readers exactly where your heart and mind is at, with each piece that you put before us. This one I really loved because with so few words you have painted the picture of so many saddnesses that few would take the time to see.

Your stanza on the Pawn Shop really grabbed me. I see my daughter having to do this all the time and she has so few things of value to loose, and most times that is exactly what happens. As you said, so many memories are the possesions of others hearts to be bought for a pentance of monitary value not to mention the emotional ties. Hmmmmm do I feel a write coming on. Maybe.

Wonderful as always Ray. I love stopping in here.

Blessings,
Lesa