The Attempted Kidnapping

There is no harder job than being a parent.

Jack leaned over from his huge comfortable chair and peered out the blinds. Little Jack Jr had not made it down to the street, yet. This was his big day. Dad was going to let him walk the two blocks to the school bus pickup, alone. He was seven, and it was time. Most of his friends walked about the same distance unaccompanied, and now it was Jack Jr's turn. Still, being the kind of father he was , he couldn't help but keep an eye out.

 

There's my, boy, Jack thought to himself, as he watched his son wait for the walk light. Jack Jr was his life. After his mother ran off, Jack Sr took on the role of everyone: mom, teacher, friend, protector. He watched Jr leap onto the curb, the heavy back pack almost making him lose his balance. Every year, he did just like his father did with him...just a little more trust, a little more personal responsibility. That's how it was done. Jack Jr was about halfway there, already. Out of the corner of his eye Jack noticed an old beat up white van slowly trailing his son, just a little ways behind. Jack sat up a little straighter, and pulled the blinds all the way up. It was nothing, but an old beat up white van, Jesus, how many times had he heard that on "Cops" or " America's most Wanted , he thought. Just then he saw Jack Jr stop, at the same time the van stopped.

 

Omigod, He was talking to him! What did I tell you, Jack..NEVER talk to a stranger , especially one in a car ? Jack didn't have enough time to run downstairs, All he could do was watch. Thoughts screamed through his mind, as he quickly pulled his jeans on, never once taking his eyes off the van.

Then, like a miracle, he saw Jack Jr take off running back to their apartment.

 YES!! Good going, Son, just like dad taught you!

Jack watched as his son ran with all his heart towards home. He also watched the van speed away. He tried to get a license plate number , but it was too late.

" Dad, that man wanted me to help find his dog, he heard his son yell from down the street. Jack flew down the steps of his second floor apartment, his heart pounding with joy. Jack Jr had left his bag, and his little legs were still pumping when Jack reached the bottom of the steps.

" Jackie you did perfect, son", Jack Sr yelled, as he saw his son dash between two parked cars.

 " JR, WATCH WHER........"

The impact was shattering. Jack watched as his son's limp body was catapulted like a rag doll, spinning at least a half dozen times before it slammed against the parked bakery truck.

 

He wept uncontrollably as he held his son's limp and lifeless body...the sounds of sirens coming far in the distance. There are so many lessons a parent must instill in their children...sometimes, in the end, just too many...too damn many.

 

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Damn, Rain

[welcome back by the way]

This is so believable, and gripping because of it. You've written it so well, that we really feel the father's tension throughout and then his pain as one near-miss transforms into tragedy.
The lesson we take from this is a harsh but important one. All the protection in the world doesn't equate a guarantee, so it's better to allow gradual freedom and responsibility, so that at least there will be enjoyment and growth along the way, as opposed to resentment and cotton-wool-kids.

"After his mother ran off, he took on the roll of everyone" [roll = role]
[maybe say 'Jack Sr took on the role', as both Jacks are mentioned in this sentence?]
"lessons a parent must instill in their children" [instil]

Thanks for sharing this with us Rain.
Excellent write.

[R J Askew]

Eeek, my youngest son will soon be facing walking to school on his own for the first time. So this story I feel keenly.

[Kyle]

A fearful story for every parent and the harsh reality of seeing the fear come to light. Written well

[OceanTropic]

This was intense. The way you described the little boy, his little feet hitting the pavement, how his heavy backpack almost made him lose his balance. It really captured my heart, this little child. You described him perfectly. He was this innocent little being. I could feel every emotion in this writing. I was so happy and my heart smiled when the little child ran away. It was a close call, but the ending... omgawsh. The way you described it, like a rag doll.. his limp body. You almost brougt me to tears Rain I can't begin to tell you. Anything to do with children is close to heart for me and I think almost everyone. They are such innocent beings.

Although it was good to see the child wasn't kidnapped, the ending to me meant a lot. The child learnt a lesson, he was running to safety, to his father but along the way he got killed. To me this is a huge metaphor for life iself. We learn so many lessons along the way, from parents, friends, experiences in general. We can learn about the parallel universe. We can spot signs and symptoms of crime and things like a white van following a child. But even though we can escape from them, we cannot escape life. This was beautiful in its own tragic way. I really liked this.

[AngelEyes]

Gosh, this was heart wrenching to read especially since I am a parent. Also, this story has hit a personal cord within me since I had a good friend once in high school, we were barely 16 at the time, when she walked to a convenient store a few blocks from her house to pick up some bread and milk when she was kidnapped. She wasn't so fortunate. It makes you count your blessings, but be very cautious just the same...you just never know what each day could bring, only to live it one day at a time to the fullest and the best way you can.

[Dezaraye]

Ray ... omg. The end to this feels like someone just punched me in the stomach. Your build up is amazing and the anticipation is well written and vivid. The ending was something totally unexpected and so heartbreaking. Nice write.

[thecoolone52]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the ending is shocking........... beautiful twist at end........ nice narrative as well...................................... ya gotta look both ways....... i know i do

[JC Fox]

Another riveting tale

[Jenny Davis]

Aww!!! I guess life isn't always full of happy endings...there is so much to teach our little ones...but we can't be there every second of everyday. This was such a sad, powerful write, Rain...I think many will make sure to walk their kids to the bus stop now ;)

*Glad to see you back :-)

[Chiquita]

OMG!!! Who saw that coming? I speechless. My mouth is still hanging open in disbelief. I can only hope this is fiction.

[justjenn_2u]

Oh, this was so tragic yet so real life. I was feeling so relieved that the little boy wasn't kidnapped and then the table turned. This is a good story because as parents we tend to try and teach our children anything and everything to keep them safe. Seems like the all of the bases are impossible to cover.

Dynamic write. I enjoy your work very much.