The Attempted Kidnapping

There is no harder job than being a parent.

Jack leaned over from his huge comfortable chair and peered out the blinds. Little Jack Jr had not made it down to the street, yet. This was his big day. Dad was going to let him walk the two blocks to the school bus pickup, alone. He was seven, and it was time. Most of his friends walked about the same distance unaccompanied, and now it was Jack Jr's turn. Still, being the kind of father he was , he couldn't help but keep an eye out.

 

There's my, boy, Jack thought to himself, as he watched his son wait for the walk light. Jack Jr was his life. After his mother ran off, Jack Sr took on the role of everyone: mom, teacher, friend, protector. He watched Jr leap onto the curb, the heavy back pack almost making him lose his balance. Every year, he did just like his father did with him...just a little more trust, a little more personal responsibility. That's how it was done. Jack Jr was about halfway there, already. Out of the corner of his eye Jack noticed an old beat up white van slowly trailing his son, just a little ways behind. Jack sat up a little straighter, and pulled the blinds all the way up. It was nothing, but an old beat up white van, Jesus, how many times had he heard that on "Cops" or " America's most Wanted , he thought. Just then he saw Jack Jr stop, at the same time the van stopped.

 

Omigod, He was talking to him! What did I tell you, Jack..NEVER talk to a stranger , especially one in a car ? Jack didn't have enough time to run downstairs, All he could do was watch. Thoughts screamed through his mind, as he quickly pulled his jeans on, never once taking his eyes off the van.

Then, like a miracle, he saw Jack Jr take off running back to their apartment.

 YES!! Good going, Son, just like dad taught you!

Jack watched as his son ran with all his heart towards home. He also watched the van speed away. He tried to get a license plate number , but it was too late.

" Dad, that man wanted me to help find his dog, he heard his son yell from down the street. Jack flew down the steps of his second floor apartment, his heart pounding with joy. Jack Jr had left his bag, and his little legs were still pumping when Jack reached the bottom of the steps.

" Jackie you did perfect, son", Jack Sr yelled, as he saw his son dash between two parked cars.

 " JR, WATCH WHER........"

The impact was shattering. Jack watched as his son's limp body was catapulted like a rag doll, spinning at least a half dozen times before it slammed against the parked bakery truck.

 

He wept uncontrollably as he held his son's limp and lifeless body...the sounds of sirens coming far in the distance. There are so many lessons a parent must instill in their children...sometimes, in the end, just too many...too damn many.

 

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Damn, Rain

[welcome back by the way]

This is so believable, and gripping because of it. You've written it so well, that we really feel the father's tension throughout and then his pain as one near-miss transforms into tragedy.
The lesson we take from this is a harsh but important one. All the protection in the world doesn't equate a guarantee, so it's better to allow gradual freedom and responsibility, so that at least there will be enjoyment and growth along the way, as opposed to resentment and cotton-wool-kids.

"After his mother ran off, he took on the roll of everyone" [roll = role]
[maybe say 'Jack Sr took on the role', as both Jacks are mentioned in this sentence?]
"lessons a parent must instill in their children" [instil]

Thanks for sharing this with us Rain.
Excellent write.

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Rain.....this is movnig stuff, and quite a turn for you, but it helps stretch out the skin...I didn't like the ending...but then....like Goldman points out in "The Princess Bride", life isn't fair.

awesome stuff man.

[Sarah]

This is SO depressing, Rain! I can hardly believe it, after so many of your stories have, if not happy, then at least only ironic endings! It is well written, and I cannot say it is anything but vividly realistic, but I cannot like it, even for that.


Sarah

[DarkAngelWriter]

I didn't review this? Well f**k me.

I love this. I love it a lot. It broke my heart when I read it. It's almost as if this was real...

Even my girlfriend I showed it to loved it. It's just so compelling... Thank you for sharing it with us :)

[Susan S.]

oh man...

[Anne Martin]

This is another that I read before and didn't leave comments ... well, because I felt so crushed at the end of it. I have to admit that I saw it coming, but the way you dragged it out left me in pieces. I'm going to go have a good cry now.

[Amanda]

no matter what we teach our children, sometimes they forget. they do not understand the dangers of the world that surrounds us....what a tragic ending. this is really good poem.

Always,

Amanda

[garrett]

thats asam

[J. Hampton]

This brought me back to the days of .....walking the tight-rope of ...." telling kids things to protect them" ....and "overwhelming them " .

Unparalled ending ....
I don't want it to be a true story....
This disturbed my motherhood

every parents nightmare....and to witness it..!
Being retreived from the clutches of a captor.... only to be claimed by the hazords of pedestrian verses traffic.

this made me sick...

Great write..

Blessssssssssssss

[TL Boehm]

OH I never saw that coming. This is more wrenching and more of a horror story than the plethora of vampires and monsters I've read here at the Cafe, because.....it has that ring of reality about it. Well done

[Kenji Light]

Wow. I really wasn't expecting that ending. Then again, we don't live in a fairy tale world. Very modernist elements in this short story. The piece contained an unforgiving and cruel outerworld, where the inside world was much more habitable and safe. I loved how the scenario played out. I was thinking the parent was overly concerned, and yet, at the same time there was necessity for that level of concern. I was very impressed by the way this was written. Definitely kudos. You said a lot in this piece without using a lot of words. The thoughts were realistic and added a great deal of depth. The characters were also really believable. Great stuff. -Kenji