The Attempted Kidnapping

There is no harder job than being a parent.

Jack leaned over from his huge comfortable chair and peered out the blinds. Little Jack Jr had not made it down to the street, yet. This was his big day. Dad was going to let him walk the two blocks to the school bus pickup, alone. He was seven, and it was time. Most of his friends walked about the same distance unaccompanied, and now it was Jack Jr's turn. Still, being the kind of father he was , he couldn't help but keep an eye out.

 

There's my, boy, Jack thought to himself, as he watched his son wait for the walk light. Jack Jr was his life. After his mother ran off, Jack Sr took on the role of everyone: mom, teacher, friend, protector. He watched Jr leap onto the curb, the heavy back pack almost making him lose his balance. Every year, he did just like his father did with him...just a little more trust, a little more personal responsibility. That's how it was done. Jack Jr was about halfway there, already. Out of the corner of his eye Jack noticed an old beat up white van slowly trailing his son, just a little ways behind. Jack sat up a little straighter, and pulled the blinds all the way up. It was nothing, but an old beat up white van, Jesus, how many times had he heard that on "Cops" or " America's most Wanted , he thought. Just then he saw Jack Jr stop, at the same time the van stopped.

 

Omigod, He was talking to him! What did I tell you, Jack..NEVER talk to a stranger , especially one in a car ? Jack didn't have enough time to run downstairs, All he could do was watch. Thoughts screamed through his mind, as he quickly pulled his jeans on, never once taking his eyes off the van.

Then, like a miracle, he saw Jack Jr take off running back to their apartment.

 YES!! Good going, Son, just like dad taught you!

Jack watched as his son ran with all his heart towards home. He also watched the van speed away. He tried to get a license plate number , but it was too late.

" Dad, that man wanted me to help find his dog, he heard his son yell from down the street. Jack flew down the steps of his second floor apartment, his heart pounding with joy. Jack Jr had left his bag, and his little legs were still pumping when Jack reached the bottom of the steps.

" Jackie you did perfect, son", Jack Sr yelled, as he saw his son dash between two parked cars.

 " JR, WATCH WHER........"

The impact was shattering. Jack watched as his son's limp body was catapulted like a rag doll, spinning at least a half dozen times before it slammed against the parked bakery truck.

 

He wept uncontrollably as he held his son's limp and lifeless body...the sounds of sirens coming far in the distance. There are so many lessons a parent must instill in their children...sometimes, in the end, just too many...too damn many.

 

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Damn, Rain

[welcome back by the way]

This is so believable, and gripping because of it. You've written it so well, that we really feel the father's tension throughout and then his pain as one near-miss transforms into tragedy.
The lesson we take from this is a harsh but important one. All the protection in the world doesn't equate a guarantee, so it's better to allow gradual freedom and responsibility, so that at least there will be enjoyment and growth along the way, as opposed to resentment and cotton-wool-kids.

"After his mother ran off, he took on the roll of everyone" [roll = role]
[maybe say 'Jack Sr took on the role', as both Jacks are mentioned in this sentence?]
"lessons a parent must instill in their children" [instil]

Thanks for sharing this with us Rain.
Excellent write.

[Griffin Hill]

Except for the bit of dialogue, which is good, your story would be stronger with more showing and less telling. IMO.

[Ice QueenJen]

This story hit home for me, since I knew someone who finally let their son ride his bike to school at the age of seven, only to be killed by a car. You are so right when you said there are just to many lessons a parent has to instill in there children, and sadly some are missed. This was a great story but a sad one in the end. Great story to Rain. So sorry its taken me this long to read..

[Aspiring Angel]

What a sad story this was. Just back for a reread.

Hugs,
Lesa

[Aspiring Angel]

Oh what a sad story this was to read but you have penned it so well. The story that the kidnapper used to try to lure little Jack Jr. to his van is something that is used every day. As hard as you try when you are a parent, you just cannot cover all bases. Such a sad ending for this story. As the years move ahead you still try to protect your grown children. Lessons are hard learned on both ends of the scale.

Blessings,
Lesa

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Oh that is so sad. Trying to protect a child from the dangers the world has to offer. Very good and insightful write, makes me try to remember if there is anything else important I need to tell my grand kids.

[All faded blue]

Truly did not expect this for an ending. It is so true that sometimes the neccessary lessons we teach our children can come out to have unhappy endings. At that point, where do we turn??

blue

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Ray.... I wasn't expecting the ending!!!
As always, my friend, you have the knack of creating story and putting your reader into your narrative. At least with me, it works that way. I thought for sure you were going with the moral of trust and all that then ... well, they'll have to read it. I won't give it up. Good show!

Cheers!
Doc.

[James Watts]

This was a gripping tale. Sad ending. Being a parent I can only imagine that sort pain and pray that I must never face it. Nice work, my friend.

[Pointblank]

Oh, my everyday fear. and nothing I can do. Nothing. Sometimes you can talk till your blue in the face. Life will still be life , destiny, destiny and fate, fate. Then I read about it and cry.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

OMG I was enthralled and devistated by this piece. Bravo.
Hugs Debby