GOD said, WHAT ?

One of my conversations with God.

 

 

 

GOD said, WHAT?? A Story by Rain

..

" I'm trying to talk with God, and he sends me this mist like figure ? I suppose I'm supposed to talk with you,? I asked, frustrated.

"He said He's tired of messing with you", the voice said.

"Tired of messing with me? He's God, I shouted. That's what Gods are supposed to do."
"And where does he get off calling it , Messing with me?"

"Look, I'm just telling you what HE said." The voice spoke.

"HE said the word "Messing?" I asked

"That's what HE said. HE said you were getting on his nerves,and that HE had more important things to deal with", the voice said,sounding disinterested.

I lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, then said in an angry voice.
"Oh, so just because HE'S God, HE can just pick and choose who HE talks to?"

"That appears to be how HE sees it", the voice said casually.

" Well,I think it's crap." HE created us, HE gave us all these damn unanswerable questions, and then when you demand to know why, HE can just say HE doesn't feel like messing with you!  "That's some God," I said, as I flipped my cigarette towards the heavens.
"Well, tell God....." the voice stopped me.

"I" don't TELL God anything. I only pass on what you say."

"I thought God was supposed to know everything. Why do you even have to be here?" I said,knowing he had no answer.

The voice seemed to giggle.

"What's so funny," I asked.

"God just said you were dumber than a dinosaur", then the voice busted out laughing.

Angry, I picked up a rock and tossed it into the sky.
"Tell God......Ooops, relay to God that HE made me, so if I'm dumb, HE'S the one to blame," I said, feeling I got my shot in.

The voice was silent.

"What's the matter God, stumped?" I grinned.

Finally, the voice spoke. " Sorry,God was busy trying to re-arrange this black hole to a better location."

"What?" He's got one of his children here, and He's playing with a black hole? What about my question? If I'm dumb, HE made me this way!"

The voice, which came from this odd shaped mist, spoke...

"God said for me to try and shoo you away."

"NO, I shouted. I think I deserve to know." If HE wants me to know all these things, why didn't HE  make me smarter? Just ask him that, and say... Please."

The odd shaped mist seemed to draw a bit closer, as if he was going to whisper something, then withdrew. Then he spoke... 
"God said for me to keep this simple, as it was obvious you had a limited comprehension level."

"Well, yippie, tell him I appreciate HIM  finally answering a simple question."

"God said you were born brilliant, with the wisdom and comprehension of your creator. As a child you possessed all the knowledge HE  had intended you to have, more wisdom than you would ever need."

"Ok, then what the hell happened?" I asked, hoping GOD had forgotten  about the black hole and was focusing on me.

God says that man left the childlike wisdom, and began to believe he could dissect His gift of life. They wrote books and gathered in small intellectual groups; they developed complex theories to His simplest mysteries, they wrote and challenged, until at last, the true wisdom they had, gave way to false philosophies, and gave birth to fake scholars.Wisdom became something people would try to teach, till the world became filled with those who thought they knew His gift, who knew Him.
I could tell the voice was not quite done.
God told me to tell you to beware of people who say they know,and keep their knowledge on shelves that can't be reached. The voice was done.

"That's it?" I asked, not sure I totally understood.

"There was one other thing, but I think you might want to stop here," the voice said, politely.

"Hey," I said in a stern voice, if GOD said something else, I want to know."

The voice hesitated a minute,then said, " Ok."
"God said he had a plaque waiting for you."

"NO WAY!!! I excitedly shouted, What does it say ?"
"Child with the most dumb questions." He laughed,

"Oh, that's cute God.."That's really cute."

© 2007 Rain

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

I really liked the concept of this and the technique you used to deliver it to us.
Any chance this messenger left a contact number? haha

No straight answers, huh? Figures.
Glad he didn't drop the black hole on your narrator though...could have been worse.

Thanks for sharing this Rain. Amusing and thoughtful read.

[J. Hampton]

Ray ~

( 31 reviews later )...lol

Love this...

The dialog...and humerous honesty in this reminded me of George Burns in the movie ..." Oh God " or something like that.
in it George burns plays God .....someone asks him..
" God ...how can you alow all the evil...heartache....crime and viloence in this world " ????
George says...) whilst puffing on his cuban cigar..." I don't allow it...YOU DO !! "

We at times make it all about ... "US"
forgetting ...we ...ARE NOT...the only pebble on the beach....and Life is not supposed to be or feel perfect all-the-time...but is a sculpting of things to yet be seen .

" HE" ....really ..." has this"...

awesome write...
( i'm not on much of late )

Blesssssssss

[Polly Lewis]

Hahahaha...just wonderful. I so love your sense of humour. I'm pretty sure God does too, after all, he gave it to you, right?

This was just brilliant my friend, the go-between was simply inspired and the flow faultless. It teaches a valuable lesson without overwhelming the reader, and allows the message to sink in while we laugh.

I love this one Ray :0)

[Drea]

Child with the most dumb questions HA HA!!!
Is there a plaque for the kid who dies with the most toys theory too I wonder :-)
Great piece. I like how you make it a comfortable sit down with the misty go between. Shows the "we are not worthy thing" in full force and drives it home by having the speaker ask questions but show continued disrespect by throwing rocks and such like an insolent toddler/teen.

You make a great point in here too that didn't go unnoticed by me. Beware those who say they know and keep their knowledge out of reach. Beware indeed.

[Babbette Francis]

lol, lol, lol, lol, I'm laughing so hard right now. I bet you think its because of this story you wrote. Its not. I'm laughing because for years I thought I was the only one receiving a plague that said that, now I see you are too, but whats so funny is that unlike myself, you were just brave enough to tell the world about the plague you have waiting for you. lol!

Rain, seriously, this is brilliant!!! CUTE, CUTE, CUTE, lol!!!!

I'm keeping this!!!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I really enjoyed reading this, it's different and I like it. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Mat Woodward]

Trippy font! Good philosophy and thought went into this, many could benefit from your piece if they took the time to read it. It's quirky and provokes thought about the power and humility of our creator.
Mat.

[Angel Bird]

As I just read you've got granted an audience at God's, with an interlocutor of course, but still a special event :) ;) :)

Further it is ascertained beyond doubt that you have the talent to be at home in any genre.

I like your way of making one see images, and like really hearing this discussion in the readers mind.

This story is so great, plus it made me smile all the while. :)

Wonderful job! I wonder where HE's tossed the black hole today?!? How you think his score in slam-dunks may be?!? :) :) :)

[James K. Blaylock]

Rain, I truly loved this wonderfully fun and funny piece. It's so packed with truth and wisdom, man!

jkb

[justjenn_2u]

I enjoyed the humour in this piece although I could see the point you are getting across. This story may have a silly undertone but the final answers that God gives in this piece, are remarkable. Full of wisdom so many others turn their noses up to.

Good write!

[SM Davis]

Ah yes...the child with the most dumb questions....the only dumb one is the one that isn't asked. I enjoyed this Rain. It was provacative and humor laced. Thank you for sharing this.