GOD said, WHAT ?

One of my conversations with God.

 

 

 

GOD said, WHAT?? A Story by Rain

..

" I'm trying to talk with God, and he sends me this mist like figure ? I suppose I'm supposed to talk with you,? I asked, frustrated.

"He said He's tired of messing with you", the voice said.

"Tired of messing with me? He's God, I shouted. That's what Gods are supposed to do."
"And where does he get off calling it , Messing with me?"

"Look, I'm just telling you what HE said." The voice spoke.

"HE said the word "Messing?" I asked

"That's what HE said. HE said you were getting on his nerves,and that HE had more important things to deal with", the voice said,sounding disinterested.

I lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, then said in an angry voice.
"Oh, so just because HE'S God, HE can just pick and choose who HE talks to?"

"That appears to be how HE sees it", the voice said casually.

" Well,I think it's crap." HE created us, HE gave us all these damn unanswerable questions, and then when you demand to know why, HE can just say HE doesn't feel like messing with you!  "That's some God," I said, as I flipped my cigarette towards the heavens.
"Well, tell God....." the voice stopped me.

"I" don't TELL God anything. I only pass on what you say."

"I thought God was supposed to know everything. Why do you even have to be here?" I said,knowing he had no answer.

The voice seemed to giggle.

"What's so funny," I asked.

"God just said you were dumber than a dinosaur", then the voice busted out laughing.

Angry, I picked up a rock and tossed it into the sky.
"Tell God......Ooops, relay to God that HE made me, so if I'm dumb, HE'S the one to blame," I said, feeling I got my shot in.

The voice was silent.

"What's the matter God, stumped?" I grinned.

Finally, the voice spoke. " Sorry,God was busy trying to re-arrange this black hole to a better location."

"What?" He's got one of his children here, and He's playing with a black hole? What about my question? If I'm dumb, HE made me this way!"

The voice, which came from this odd shaped mist, spoke...

"God said for me to try and shoo you away."

"NO, I shouted. I think I deserve to know." If HE wants me to know all these things, why didn't HE  make me smarter? Just ask him that, and say... Please."

The odd shaped mist seemed to draw a bit closer, as if he was going to whisper something, then withdrew. Then he spoke... 
"God said for me to keep this simple, as it was obvious you had a limited comprehension level."

"Well, yippie, tell him I appreciate HIM  finally answering a simple question."

"God said you were born brilliant, with the wisdom and comprehension of your creator. As a child you possessed all the knowledge HE  had intended you to have, more wisdom than you would ever need."

"Ok, then what the hell happened?" I asked, hoping GOD had forgotten  about the black hole and was focusing on me.

God says that man left the childlike wisdom, and began to believe he could dissect His gift of life. They wrote books and gathered in small intellectual groups; they developed complex theories to His simplest mysteries, they wrote and challenged, until at last, the true wisdom they had, gave way to false philosophies, and gave birth to fake scholars.Wisdom became something people would try to teach, till the world became filled with those who thought they knew His gift, who knew Him.
I could tell the voice was not quite done.
God told me to tell you to beware of people who say they know,and keep their knowledge on shelves that can't be reached. The voice was done.

"That's it?" I asked, not sure I totally understood.

"There was one other thing, but I think you might want to stop here," the voice said, politely.

"Hey," I said in a stern voice, if GOD said something else, I want to know."

The voice hesitated a minute,then said, " Ok."
"God said he had a plaque waiting for you."

"NO WAY!!! I excitedly shouted, What does it say ?"
"Child with the most dumb questions." He laughed,

"Oh, that's cute God.."That's really cute."

© 2007 Rain

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

I really liked the concept of this and the technique you used to deliver it to us.
Any chance this messenger left a contact number? haha

No straight answers, huh? Figures.
Glad he didn't drop the black hole on your narrator though...could have been worse.

Thanks for sharing this Rain. Amusing and thoughtful read.

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Nice approach. Using the mysterious, the angry, and the comical to get across your point. I liked it. There wre a lot of fun little things thrown in that may have been coincidence, serendipity, or intentional. Either way, I liked them in there. Good bit of communicating a point in short speech.

Cheers!
Doc.

[Laura Monique]

That made me laugh so hard! I loved it!!! lol

[C. Harter Amos]

I love the no-nonsense way you address the almighty himself! This was just so cute and full of meaning at the same time. I enjoyed it and the naturalness of the conversation. The ending was great! If I got a plaque, it would probably say the same thing! TLOL. Love it.

[These Haunted Hallways]

LoL, I fell off my chair laughing lol! Very brilliant and creative! Loved it!

B.A.

[~Haute*Cocoa~]

I love this- it's hilarious! Your font technique makes it really effective, as well. This is probably how God really is, too, hahah! But I guess we'll have to wait to see that for ourselves...

[emmajoy]

Read this twice... can't improve or add to what's already been said... so, my only word is BRILLIANT.

[Susan S.]

You have a great sense of humor. I enjoy reading your stuff.

[MerelyPoetic]

LMAO....gives a new spin on the WWJD?.... what would God Say? lol This is fantastic - because it's true. I always say if you want to really know how to live, hang out with a 2 year old. Great story, Rain. It's so true we feel we get no answers when we ask....it's then, I've been told, that God is really saying "wait". But...you know...that's just another philosophical bs created by man. Hmm...WWGS? I love the disinterested voice with nothing invested...then kind of feeling sorry for you at the end, and trying to hold back about the plaque. Too funny. Write on!

[Emily B]

That is cute! Thanks, Ray.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This reminds me of the song "Question" by The Moody BluesAnd a little of Jimmy Buffet's "God don't own a car" That black hole that was getting moved, mightn't it have been close to our world? great write.