When Snow Turns to Rain

Empty chairs at Christmas time..

     

When Snow Turns to Rain

Tis the season to be Jolly. It's the season of "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street", "The Christmas Story." It is a time of warm fireplaces, and snow laying gently on pine tree branches, of looking at films of Christmas's past, a time of stories told and retold over the decades, by old familiar voices, a time to laugh at the same jokes. It is Christmas. It is family.

 

It is also a time to set one less plate on the table, a time where favorite chairs sit empty, and there are less gifts beneath the tree. A time when certain names are painfully avoided, a reminder that life never stops. People conceal the hurt, for fear of ruining the merry spirit. Hidden in the joy of watching everyone unwrapping their presents, we try to remember the children and their innocence. We bury the emptiness in the laughter of young children, not yet old enough to face the adult pain of a missing loved one.

 

It is a joyous time, yet a time to miss the scent of a father's cologne, a mother's laugh, a siblings taken for granted presence, a good friend's spirit. It is ok to be sad during these days. It is not only ok, it is human. Speak their name. Talk about them as if they were there, because they are. Find an empty room and lay down and cry, but do not stay long. Honor the life that once was. Pay them tribute with your tears, but never forget what they would say if they saw you throw away your happiness because of their leaving. You honor the missing by using their memory as a source of strength, and not a reason to mourn.

 

You owe them that tribute to their life. However hard it is, it is their life that counts, not their passing. Your turn will come, just as their's did. How would you want those who loved you to remember you ? What a tribute to have the memory of your life continue to make them smile, and give them peace, and determination. It is a season that is difficult for many, but it should always remain a season of family. The chair will never be empty...it is Christmas. 

 

Reviews

[None]

You give great insights and advice here and point out that we need to enjoy each moment we have with our loved ones now. At Christmas time, sentiments and feelings are paramount. Your suggestions are worth their weight in gold. I'm saving this to favorites. Thank you for this raw story.

[Donald Meikle]

you do get into the nitty gritty of life Christmas and absent friends, tears well as this grabs hold. Every Xmas Eve for twenty years or more we've spent celebrating at a close friend's home. Last year he rested on the bar
in a warm wooden box. This year we'll all raise a glass to him, again. He hated maudlin, so we'll go on enjoying his special night.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Oh Rain thats so clever and true story, you look right into the reality face and say , I know , I am not afraid, I am aware and strong. Holidays can be the time of happiness but also sads, its the time we stop and think, what is the race of life for. we all think, what people think or say about us when we will gone, I am sure that our close family will remember and never forget, they will leave our empty chair, they will mention us , each year , they will miss.

"It is ok to be sad during these days. It is not only ok, it is human. Speak their name. Talk about them as if they were there, because they are. Find an empty room and lay down and cry, but do not stay long. Honor the life that once was. Pay them tribute with your tears, but never forget what they would say if they saw you throw away your happiness because of their leaving."

So true, good blees you and Happy holidays Yossi

[Angel Baby]

Heartfelt and caring feelings penned once again from a man with a VERY BIG HEART. I truly love this piece. Great advice. Thanks, for sharing a beautiful part of you. P.W.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, they are so caring and heartfelt. I very much appreciate this writing and will try to remember your words to help me in my own personal life. Debileah

[Aspiring Angel]

Ok now you got the tears rolling! I told you not long ago in message that I am really having a hard time finding Christmas this year. I am up early to try to talk myself into finding the spirit to decorate the house.
These lines is where the tears began as I read this

"It is a joyous time, yet a time to miss the scent of a father's cologne, a mother's laugh, a siblings taken for granted presence, a good friend's spirit. It is ok to be sad during these days."

My very dear friend is facing a 5% pay cut with a full day at the end of her months gone. She is having such a hard time even surviving on what she makes now. Ourselves here there are some really nasty rumors that we are facing the same in Hersh's job.

I know that a four legged friend should perhaps not enter into the feeling of sadness in loss on what is to be a joyous day, but try as I might it does. Tinkers favorite time of year was when I would begin to bring out all of the decorations, and after she would explore each box and normally come out dragging something she would claim as her own, would settle on our kitchen bar and watch me all day, waiting for her occasional question of Tink what cha think?

I am considered in my family to be the strong one. The one that makes everyone else drop their crap and pull themselves together from whatever we are going through at the time. This year I just don't feel strong and I am so sorry for this rather dismal review.

There are few that can reach within my heart and touch it like your words do and you have become a blessing to me. I wish for you and yours in all sincerity a joyous Christmas Day. Ours I know will find its way to being that as well. I may get down but I don't give up.

Hugs sweetie and thank you for this write.
Lesa

[THE BLACK SEAL]

wonderful and so in tune with the holidays

[E. M. Murren]

This is so honest. I remember many Christmases where the children kept us from weeping at that time. The weeping is so healing, though. It is part of life. Your words are so well expressed. Thank you for the memories that this stirred. Blessings.

I have dealt with this throughout most of my childhood and young adult life ( as many others have as well I'm sure) and you have hit the nail on the head. The emotion here is so powerful and it is a reminder that those not longer with us would not want us to wallow in grief and pain. It is a wonderful reminder that life is short and live it that way it is supposed to be lived. It is so good I'm going to email the link to a friend of mine who's family member died on Christmas day and she is having a really tough time. I think your words will bring her comfort and understanding- thank you!

[Dezaraye]

I remember this post, Ray. It still made me nostalgic like it did the first time. I love your message here and the acceptance in your words. I love that you acknowledge that it's okay to cry, to mourn, to rejoice ... that it's human. Thank you for this.