Winter Thoughts

Just how I get through this season of sleep.

   

I wouldn't say winter is my favorite season, but in some strange way it has become my moment of quiet, a forced stillness, I neither anticipate nor dread. I have learned to use this time of solitude. It allows me to read my book, my soul, my path. I have no desire, nor energy to look outward. I am compelled by the frozen grayness to turn inward.

 

There is a similarity between me and the ash landscape that lies in wait. It is in the restless pacing of my soul, in the knowledge that I am far from that distant spring, that it is not a time to bloom, but a given space to rest. It is here that I catch my breath. It is in these melancholy voids that mold me. I have dreamed my greatest dreams, and faced my worst failures..in this season of sleep.

 

It is not always easy to turn back the pages and read your story. Often what made sense then, makes little now. Still, I go back and tediously reread the lines, again. My memory searches through the endless plots and plans of a person I sometimes only vaguely recall. I rummage through the pages without anger or regret. I have no wish to rewrite or edit that which has already been written. I have one purpose: find those pages that tell of lost dreams, of failed chances, of discarded leaves from other winters.

 

However torturous this seems, it is within this painful review I can feel the roots of my soul begin to grow. When I stumble onto passages that, when written, seemed aimless and without design, I am stunned by their clarity. I view this exploration of paths taken as a map, a guide to follow when today's path twists.

 

So, today I prepare for spring. I carry into this stinging chill a new plan, a vision of a better, more brilliant me. I am strengthened by the knowledge that my spirit is not dead, but only dormant, and in wait. I have thousands of stupid plans within me, countless unrealistic dreams, endless wrong paths to walk. What a glorious spring it will be.

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

Self reflecting is to often a difficult thing to endure. We see ourselves in a way that no other could possibly ever see. We are the hardest on ourselves and our past mistakes. But I think in those times we spend look back over where we have been and the people we once were, we gain a deeper appreciation of where we are now and the places we are headed. Life is mostly a journey of self awareness and becoming to understand our place in the universe. I look at spring as a time of rebirth and new possibilities. We get a chance to plants something new into the soil of the world and feel a little more connected to all that surrounds us. You my friend plant seeds into all of us that are lucky enough to read your words and wisdom of life. I think you are a sower of the seeds of hope and knowledge. As we learn from you more and more. You are a great man, great being, and I just ask that you keep sharing yourself and love with us all.

[Aspiring Angel]

"It is not always easy to turn back the pages and read your story." This line jumped right out at me. LOL I also loved your last line that brings the hope back to our lives. When it is snowing and I am feeling sorry for myself because of my dislike of winter, I will remember this write. Great as always Ray.

Hugs,
Lesa

[THE BLACK SEAL]

i rather like fall and winter too. spring is nice but i hate summer...lol you say it quite well. it is that lonely sort of dark time that i sort of enjoy. i like to wear jackets too

[Starlit Scarlett]

I think your prose is beautiful, and I can completely relate the the subject of this narration. I have a love/hate relationship with winter, too. I especially love the parallel you drew between living your life and writing a book; how perfect. I think that eventually, we can reread our pages without wincing and learn from them, the same way in which we can learn from other people's books. I think perhaps within that seemingly deceptive quiet contemplation lies true wisdom, but I never realized I felt that way until I read this. Thank you.

[E. M. Murren]

What a fabulous view of life. Yes, it has been a long winter. I, like you, look forward to the spring. Yes.. so many dumb things left to do in life. LOL A wonderful read. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[J. Marc]

It is perfectly natural to "adjust" one's activities and moods to the seasons. Modernity forces us to be restless all year round. And yet. We must recognize that our dispositions are not the same in winter and in summer. Your little "winter trip" is only necessary in order to have as you a say a great spring.

Although I am reading your writing in the middle of a tropical hurricane, I understand fully what you are describing. Introspection to a certain degree is rediscovering oneself, that one's values, one's goals and all the efforts that need to be done to achieve them.

Intimate, sensitive and somehow wise are the words that describe best this piece of writing. Thank you for the sweet moment.

[JC Fox]

This was an emotional piece and a great read, thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. All too much winter is looked upon as a bad thing, but this piece kind of brings hope that winter isn't all that bad

[Otter]

Well done, After I read your Bio, I realized that we think alot alike.

[*** Hey Jude***]

The beauty of your visions and emotions expressed is one I can relate to well! I too feel the stillness of winter in my spirit. A time to review, respect and renew one's inner self. I have great anticipation as for the birth of spring in all of its majestic glory, and thankfulness that we are here to share in its gift of life :-)! ~ Jude

[James Watts]

This is a great write. Love the spring, however I enjoy winter months. Something about cold nights and and those cold days under the cover of the clouds that sets my imagination on fire. But I write horror...so that explains me I guess lol. This is a very good write and your talent,your ability make me feel and see through your eyes is excellent. Great job.

[Amor-de-angel]

I would like it to be spring all year,I loved this. Take this opportunity to do all the things you can. I know that this spring will be eternal for me.