I am a bootleg writer

For one day I was treated like a "real" writer. I was a phoney, but a fun phoney.

   

I confess to being a phoney. I am a bootleg writer. For those old enough to remember,I'm like 3.2 beer. That's was the alcohol content back when they let 18 yr olds drink. In other words,I'm not the "real" thing.

But,I have people who believe in me. Claudia is one of those persons. She was a comedy writer in LA. She wrote for many of the top comedy shows,including "Facts of Life" and "Married with Children."

 

She also had written plays for off Broadway. She had many connections. Ten minutes with her and you understood why she was a sought after comedy writer. She was just naturally funny. I met Claudia on a John Hopkins cancer board. She would write me constantly,telling me that I should try getting something published. This was all based on  posts I'd write to encourage dying cancer patients...not exactly how you'd want to start a writing career.

 

Most times my posts had nothing to do with cancer. I would write pieces about life in general. Somehow these writings gave me a reputation for touching other people's lives. I was known as "Rainmaker." I once had to enter the hospital for treatment. I received over 50 cards and letters from people from all over the world. Something I wrote touched total strangers. It was a mystery to me.

 

Claudia was good friends with a guy named Evan Marshall, a big time NY literary agent. He wrote many books,including "Jane Stuart" and "Winky" mysteries. Mr Marshall was a literary agent. He helped aspiring writers learn how to get published. He has written many books on how to write novels and everything connected with getting your works published.

 

He was flying in from NY for a book signing at Joseph Beth Books and Claudia wanted me to meet him. He spent the night at her house and she mentioned my name to him. She said she just wanted him to meet me and help me with some advice. I took the whole encounter as a chance to play writer. I knew I wasn't a writer,plus I had a terminal cancer...no time for novels here.

 

I dressed in all black,wearing my purple tinted sunglasses. Not trying to be conceited here, but I looked like how I think a writer should look like.

Saturday I showed up at Joseph Beth's Bookstore to meet Claudia's friend, Evan Marshall. He was incredible. First of all, they had a whole display of his books setup when I arrived. I'm already impressed. I was dressed in my festive all black,and was feeling ever so bohemian.

 

I bought his latest book and sat down in front. I tried my best to look like a writer. I was amazed at how many people showed up. Most were writers,and most had already completed their novels. Some were on the 2nd and 3rd novel. When Mr Marshall ended his 45 minute lecture on publishing and writing he had a question and answer period.

 Everyone was asking questions like 'When I fill out my query to the publisher...should I.....' Or..'My novel contains romantic mystery...what is the market view on such a piece?' I was feeling kind of helpless. I had no questions to ask.

There was always "Hi, Mr Marshall..if you could be a tree....... I thought better of it. I felt like I looked like a writer and didn't want to expose myself for what I really was, a poster on a pancreatic cancer message board. God, how lame. Then, something very cool happened. A guy sitting behind me told Evan he was writing a novel based on his life's experience.

Mr Marshall interrupted him and asked..'Are you,Ray?'

The man said no,and then Evan said that a very good friend of his had told him about a talented writer named Ray who would be showing up at his lecture.

 

Then he asked if Ray was here. I cooly raised my finger...looking ever so distant and deep. In front of all these real writers he said,"Could you stick around so I can talk with you?" He asked. I could feel an almost instant, although undeserved, respect from the "real" writers that surrounded me. Who was this guy ? Was he the next Thomas Wolfe ? What did he write ? Was he a novelist ? I loved every phoney moment of it.

 

When Evan was done all the writers swarmed him. I just stood up and mingled with the crowd. Everyone smiled at me. Thank God no-one asked any questions. I was content to be a bootleg writer. When everyone had filtered out, Evan packed up his stuff and motioned for me to come with him outside. His first question was

"Do you have anything completed?"

"You know I have a great deal of confidence in Claudia's eye for talent."

 

Ok..now the mask had to come off.

"No sir" I replied. "I have tons of almost completed works, but I can't just sit down and write when I'm not in the mood."

We talked for about 15 minutes and his advice was simple.

"Complete something."

"You have to write..write..write." He was incredibly approachable. We talked about lots of things, but mostly he impressed upon me that I "had" to write and complete my works. He gave me his personal email, and his card, with his telephone. People think that if you have power and wealth, you somehow had to be cold blooded and greedy to get there. Evan destroys that myth. He was a guy who worked hard for what he got, and gave back when he could. When it came time for him to go, we shook hands...He wished me luck, then walked toward his car. He stopped about half way to his car, and looked back.

 

" Claudia and I always stay in contact, so let me know if you come up with some thing. " He said, as he waved and got in his car.

 

 I stood there smiling. I pulled it off. Who knows how life unfolds. I still have his email. But,for me...for that day...I was a writer. I was counterfeit and bootleg, but at least I looked like a writer. When you have low expectations, sometimes knowing you "could be" is enough. It was for me, on that one day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Anne Martin]

Not bootleg in my opinion. You have a knack for telling a tale, even a short one like this, in a way that is honest and engrossing. Do finish something, even if it is a collection of short stories. There are writers and people who think they are writers, and I'd put you in the former.

[Helen Woodward]

Counterfeit? You? I don't think so! Why don't you gather up all your inspirational works and bind them? Put an authors note...introduction (front of book) Explaining the origins of your writing, send it to the man and hope for the best, which I'm sure will be the case Ray. You have a wonderful ability to say it like it is, but stop with the humility and start work immediately if not sooner :-)))

[LizLadyNinja]

Thanks for sharing this! I hope you contact this man and get something published. Keep posting on those cancer boards. My family, my dad, is battling Colon cancer, and we are losing slowly. So keep posting because you help people. Take care and god bless!

[Wolfwind Words]

All of us may pick up a pen and paper and write something or other. But you are the true writer
In fact that's why the spell it the way they do! WRITE(Rain) didn't you get the memo! :)

This was a wonderful story! You tell them so well, they always captivate and move us.

Sincerly,
Infinity's Shadow

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I think you are a very talented writer, and storyteller. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Mr. Deft Diction]

If YOU'RE bootleg, then I KNOW I'm bootleg, lol!!! I know how it is, though....sometimes we don't have the expectations that another possesses for us. Stop being so bashful...

give him a call already!

Peoples

[J. Hampton]

You have all the "cool" you need to pull that off Ray...
definitley made me smile...
The "writers -look" you effected ...made it for me...lol
you are a hot sketch kid.

Remined me of the time I was a bartender/cocktail waitress...and my boss asked me to go get more fruit for the bar...lemons ,limes n' all...I told him I didn't have my car with me ( lied...didnt even have one )
He said "take mine" ..( a red corvette convertible ) :::: standard ...which I of course did not drive stick...still don't )...took the keys ...and drove off well...sort of ...it got even crazier when I got it downtown ( in the city)...clutch ;;;sorta intact:::

It was still fun :::: shhhhh ::::


Blesssssssssssss

[V. K. Harris]

You're kidding me, my friend you are a writer, and a damn good one. Hell, I keep telling myself that Rain is bull shitin me, he is to damn good not to be published. You are a mentor to a novice like me. You need to contact Evan and get that book out there. Excellent write as always my friend.

[emmajoy]

I like this so much! There's a very relaxing, easy flow to the story: it gently unwinds, slowly brings a smile, gets to its point, then, comfortably winds down to the successfull but somewhat self-effacing finish!

Not sure if this is fact or fiction, not sure if I even want to know which. It 'feels' real anyway, there's a clear picture of the writer there - especially in the way he dresses for the part (his preparation really made me laugh aloud)... let's leave it at that!

[THE BLACK SEAL]

you are just a storyteller thats the sort you admire and thats the sort you are

[Otter]

Wonderful story, there are writers, like you, then there's the rest o us. Well done.