Release

release of a suffocating soul...

 

She would always stand there,

Alone, on those weeping rocks; feet bare,

Waves would crash in furiously,

Her eyes holding tear pockets,

Yet, she wouldn't shed them; she wouldn't dare!

For the rocks wept for her silently...

 

The gust catches in the folds of her dress,

Her hair press on her cheeks; soothing her...

Her skin feels tight, her hand shivers,

Despair looms around her; ambush!

 

Suddenly, she straighten up; erect!

Her eyes widen; her irises constrict to slits,

Her mouth stretches to a smile; her thin lips, splits!

Finally...peace...

 

She close those lost eyes; once almond-shaped,

Breathed in deeply; for once, relaxed,

and she felt it slowly-

Her heart cracking passionately!

One last time, her lips opened delicately

and her soul sailed out happily...

 

Release

Author's Note

just a dream--or rather a nightmare which i had and twisted it a bit...
comments please
[pic is from fotoblur]

Reviews

[Maya Storm]

This feels like a fantasy piece... In a place that can't be touched, it's not all physical. I likes that feel of it, you brought me up and out of my seat for the time I was reading.

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I loved it from the beginning it sounded like a beautiful dream. A surreal place where she could go and just let go of the stress. The ending just gave me chills. This would have been one of those dreams I awoke from in a cold sweat. You did a wonderful job describing and twisting. Isn't something when you can take a dream and describe it so well that others feel as though they where there. I can only image how it left you feeling when you awoke. Just reading it I could envision it all as if I were watching it happen. Spetacular!!! You held me captive from beginning till end.

[just take a breath]

ok, wow! first of all, i LOVED this stanza:

She would always stand there,

Alone, on those weeping rocks; feet bare,
Waves would crash in furiously,
Her eyes holding tear pockets,
Yet, she wouldn't shed them; she wouldn't dare!
For the rocks wept for her silently...

it like, gave me freaking chills! haha :P i also love how, when i read it, this poem gave me a clear image of what was going on and i understood it through the entire thing! it cought my eye at first and i didnt stop reading it until i was actually, completely finished with it. it all flowed so well and it was all just so perfect! i really have nothing bad to say about it haha :P all your poems have such intersting topics! its great! please keep writing! :)

[November Gold]

Great writing!

[Laura Hegfield]

so sad and beautiful...this line was absolutely gorgeous and pulled my right into the waves of your poem: "Alone, on those weeping rocks..."

[Maimai]

Brilliant peice :) The picture is perfect for the poem

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Wow! You twisted it well............excellent piece

[Alicia Hirshey]

This is a great poem.

[Adam Lain]

Great write. I really like the picture; its perfect for the poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. The ocean allow us to feel free and alive. In this poem. The ocean can create a permanent escape also. I like how you described the place and the emotion. A sad ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote