Rain Dancer

This is the long version which inspired Rain Haiku, from a cherished childhood memory.

Head thrown back, eyes open, mouth gaped wide
Twirling round, round, arms embracing everything
Drinking in the rain, pounding feet dance wild
Booms of thunder vibrating the heart, interweaving

Girl child’s daydream and old woman’s nightdream
Both growing under the falling torrents, side by side
Each whip crack focused sharp, loud, in the now realm
Blends youthful laugh and old cackle to near scream

Souls, aged and young stretching outwards, washed clean
By slashing drops that sparkle in the lighting flash
Spinning kaleidoscope of sound, light and color clash
Shiny, bright, polished now, to a high new gleam

Deluge separates into raindrops, thunder becomes grumbles
Occasionally flashing on the horizon’s distance
Rain dancers, purified and spent, tumble
back into their separate day and night essence

Author's Note

Review as you will. Thank You

Reviews

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"Deluge separates into raindrops, thunder becomes grumbles
Occasionally flashing on the horizon's distance
Rain dancers, purified and spent, tumble
back into their separate day and night essence"
What a wonderful way to end a wonderful write. I enjoyed the way the "aged and young, child and old woman" were one in moments of lovely memory.

[Lily1111]

I connected instantly to this wonderful poem due to my absolute love of thunderstorms and walking in the rain and my all time favorite activity - puddle jumping. It was written in such a way that the reader is immediately immersed into the storm. I liked the vividness portrayed with lines like "Deluge separates into raindrops, thunder becomes grumbles" That is exactly what thunder sounds like as the storm moves on - grumbles - what a perfect description! It leaves little doubt that the poet appreciates the beauty and baptismal quality of a great storm. Purified indeed! Great write, truly enjoyed!

[Bear]

WOW... this is awesome!! I've always loved a good storm; have spent time walking in the rain, splashing in puddles, taking cover from an incoming thunderstorm upon a mountainside; just something about a storm~~has me take cover where I can listen to the rumbling thunder, cower from the lightening flashes and feel refreshed after the rain and storm pass. Thanks for sharing and for reminding me of good times of my past. ;~) Sallie Bear

[William B. Burkholder]

A wonderful rendering of a rain storm with so much more added, the feeling of the coming and going of it, was excellent for me, well done here, thanks for sharing

[Greg the Bard]

What I like most about this work is the first word of each line. Don't get me wrong the body of the work can stand on its own but the first word catches the eye and makes the reader want to continue. I felt the flow was a little fast but it had to be to get a reaction. Your vocabulary is wonderful. I wish it were in bold print. I have troble reading small print but it did not take anything away from the poem.In my travels I was lucky enough to see a real rain dance on a reservation and the opening stanza almost describe the dance to a tee. I also likened it to Genee Kelly in the mopvie "Singing In The Rain" Great work I will read more of your. Greg The Bard

[Thomas James Martin]

I like both versions. The complexity of your imagery is ver well done and captures the spiritual essene as does your haiku (Rember both).