Dark Side

This poem is about living with my bi-polar disorder.

The sun is shining

The air is just right

Smells of summer still linger

I try with all I have to enjoy it

But inside, the darkness grows

 

Sometimes I'm so optimistic

The hope I feel is so strong

It fills me up

Sends me soaring

Truly feeling like I could fly

 

There are times when I'm just here

Not feeling much of anything

It's sort of discomforting

But right now

I'd take that over this

 

When the depression takes hold

And the storms rage inside my head

It feels like an endless battle

The waters seek to take me down

To drown any hope from my soul

 

I always have some fight in me

Or I wouldn't yet be here

But that doesn't change the pain

Doesn't ease it

Doesn't take it away

 

I'm always at constant war within myself

Fighting demons inside my mind

The darkness trying to take me

Trying to snuff out the light

Clawing at the goodness in my heart

 

I will always fight it

But people need to understand

Or at least try to

There will be many times

When the darkness is inescapable

 

God is my light

The rock on which I stand

That keeps me going

But sometimes I slip

And I become blind

 

My moods shift like the tides

Sometimes I ride high for awhile

Flying about on the winds of hope and love

But then the dark waters take me down

Anger festers, sadness grows

 

Though from these ever changing winds

Brings about creativity

Flowing from my emotions

Are the very words my mouth can not speak

Painting you a portrait so vivid, so real

 

I do not wish to change who I am

Just perhaps strengthen my faith

So that when the storms hit

They're easier to overcome

That is a daily battle

 

Don't try to change me

Love me as I am

Accept the changing tides

Embrace me when I fall

And fly with me when I'm above it all

 

Can you do that?

Be there when I'm lying upon the rock

Being pulled in by the hands of darkness

Grab my hands

Let the rain from my eyes soak your shirt

 

Will you brave the wars of fire

Know how to handle the rage

Or will you run

I'm hoping you'll stay

But I won't force you

 

Today is a dark day

At the surface

Sadness seeks to pull me in

Will you be there?

Or will you run?

 

And when tomorrow comes

Where will you be?

I'm not easy to handle

Though I feel as if I'm worth it

Worth the effort to stick around

 

Everyone has a dark side

It just manifests itself differently

Within each soul

I can love yours

Can you love mine?

(inspired by Kelly Clarkson's song: Dark Side)