Life's wild roller coaster

A narrative I had to write for my English 101 class.

Ups, downs, loops, and turns: these are experiences that we encounter through many things, including life. Life is a roller-coaster of happiness, heartbreak, love, and loss that I believe only music can tame. Music, by relating songs to the events going on in my life, helps me to process difficult times. Through music, I have experienced amazing connections with people I did not know, found the perfect way for me to vent after a major heartbreak, and discovered a way to keep a loved one, whom I had lost, with me at all times.

Normally, the first thing to happen on a roller-coaster is a climb. The climb goes to the top of a peak, much like my emotions did the first night of the 2014 Celtic Thunder cruise with my aunt, Kathy. On November 8, 2014, I boarded a cruise ship for the first time. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I was going to be stuck in the middle of the ocean with the members of Celtic Thunder!  Upon boarding the ship, everyone received a gift bag. In this gift bag there were souvenirs, a free t-shirt, an itinerary, and VIP passes to each of their concerts on the ship.

The first concert was at 7:00pm that night. They had chosen to perform a best of Celtic Thunder concert, and I loved every second of it. The last song they performed was “Ireland’s Call.” They perform that song after every concert, so everyone knows the words as well as the dance moves. The opening lyrics are “Side by side we stand like brothers / One for all and all together / We will stay united through darker days.” These lyrics are the lyrics that made every single person in the auditorium stand. It sent shivers down my spine and gave me goosebumps when everyone was doing the dance in perfect unison. Gays, elderly, teens, Christians, men, and women. No matter how different the crowd was, we all connected with one another. It touched my heart in so many ways to know that we had all connected. I was at the peak of happiness. However, once roller coasters reach the top, they always have a fall.

About a week after I returned home from my cruise, I received some very upsetting news. I was about to experience my first heartbreak. My boyfriend at the time, Michael, and I had planned to hang out and watch Netflix that day, but when I went over to his house he seemed extremely distant. I asked him what was wrong and  he said the most dreaded four words in the English language: “We need to talk.” We sat down and I felt the stab of pain in my chest. I cared so much for him and all he said was “I cannot fall in love.” I was heartbroken.

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to make the pain go away. I could not do it. That was when I started hearing “The Tears of Hercules” by Celtic Thunder play in my head. The chorus goes like this:

You said love wrecks everything and none of us survive

but I got over you last night and I am still alive

Till I saw your face from across the street

through the tears of Hercules. 

I listened to that song so much that I slowly got over Michael. I felt the pain of the artist. I knew the pain in the song. The song helped me cope with my pain by knowing it happens to other people and it was not entirely my fault. It is true that everyone experiences different feelings when the roller coaster drops. For some, their stomach flips, but for me? My heart sinks.

Just as my heart sinks when I go down a fall on a roller coaster, my heart sank down to my toes on September 11, 2006. That was the day I lost my best friend. That was the day my Uncle Dale died. I remember my dad tickling my feet to wake me up for school in the morning before he walked across the street to see Uncle Dale. He did that every day. That day was different. I did not want to wake up. I remember thinking to myself, “Can I just sleep forever?” So I fell back asleep and I did not wake up again until 10:20. I was freaking out. I jumped out of my bed and frantically got dressed. I sprinted into the kitchen and saw my family sitting at the table, quietly. This worried me--my family was never quiet. They told me to sit on my dad’s lap and they told me that when daddy went over to Uncle Dale’s, he was not breathing. It felt like an elephant plopped down onto my chest. They told me things like “everybody dies at some point” and “it was just his time to go.” I think the worse thing they said was “he went peacefully.” This was one of the biggest lies I had ever heard. My entire family was heartbroken; that is not peaceful.

The funeral was a week later. I missed school every day. We got to the funeral place and I was doing fine. I was even downstairs with my cousins laughing and playing games. Then it came time to see him. My mom came up to me and took my hand. “You don’t have to see him,” she said. I took out the letter saying goodbye and walked with my mom toward the casket.  When I saw him, I nearly collapsed. It was the first funeral I had ever been to. It was something I had never experienced, and it was not just a stranger: it was my uncle. I kissed his forehead and ran back to my dad, who was sitting in a pew. Throughout the service, I was trying hard not to cry. I was trying to stay strong for my dad because that was the only time I had ever seen him cry. But when “Angels Among Us” by Alabama got to the chorus and I heard the lines “They come to you and me, in our darkest hours / to show us how to live, teach us how to give / To guide us with the light of love," I buried my face into my mom’s shoulder and cried for the rest of the time. Now, whenever I hear that song I think of him. I know that even though I do not see him or notice him, he is always here with me in my heart and through that song.

While roller coasters can be fun, they can also be scary or even dangerous. Everybody has different experiences on roller coasters, just as they do in life. They also have different coping methods and strategies to deal will all of life’s adventures. For me, it is music. Music is my passion. Music is my crutch. It has helped me experience connections with strangers, cope with a major heartbreak, and keep my loved one with me. No one ever knows what ups, downs, loops, and turns life has in store for them. So why not enjoy the ride along the way and have a madrigal time.