As The Sun Falls

the battle of a womans heart

(This picture was provided by a contest administrator. I did not take this picture)

 

 

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

She was in love; she was in love with the man who made her coffee every morning, who had a bubble bath and a glass of wine for her when she got home from a ten hour work day.  The same one that picked wild flowers for her and put them in a vase on the kitchen table.  He knew exactly what to do and what to say to make her laugh, to make her happy.  He was a romantic like her yet there were times she didn’t think they should be together. 

 

He gave her everything else.  Why didn't he want to give her a baby?

They’d had these discussions before and always strongly disagreed.  Who was going to budge first?  Couldn’t they come to some kind of agreement?  No, they couldn’t. They were stubborn.

Funny thing is, that was the only thing they fought about.  “Why do I have to care so much about this?” she wondered.  The tears were running down her face.  Her heart ached.  They’d been together for a year but she wondered if they should just call it quits. 

She didn’t want to think about it anymore.

She couldn’t help it, though.  They'd just had the fight again and he stormed off.  Where he went, she didn’t know. He probably went into the bedroom: his sanctuary. He hated fighting as much as she did.  But there they were, in the same fight again.  She walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway, right past the couch and ran her hand down the blanket that was draped over the arm. She walked out of the door and into their yard. 

Though it was spring, it was still a little cold.  She should have grabbed her jacket as she went out there but she didn’t care.  Why did she have to bring it up today?  Why couldn’t she just have bitten her tongue?  The tears kept streaming down her face.  Her vision started to blur so she sat down in the middle of the yard. 

She didn’t want to think about it anymore.

She sat out there and thought of what to do next.  Her heart continued to ache.  The day continued to lose its heat from the setting sun and she was starting to get chilled but she didn’t want to go in.  She didn’t want to move from her place in the grass.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  She was an emotional woman and needed to get control of herself.

When she opened her eyes she realized he was standing in front of her.   He had the blanket in his hands.  They never said a word, they just looked at each other. He sat down beside her,  Then he wrapped the both of them in the blanket and he put his arms around her.   She instantly felt her broken heart fill up with love.  He turned her face to him and kissed her lips softly.  Then he whispered “I love you.”  She looked into his eyes and knew that it was no longer a disagreement.  He was the one for her. 

 

And they just continued to sit there in silence, watching the sun fall. His hands went to hold her belly and she decided...

 

She didn't have to think about it anymore.

Author's Note

This I specifically wrote for a contest. I took one look at this picture and I saw this story.

I'm not looking for criticism I just want to share. Thank you

Reviews

[Leticia Bailey]

Relationships always offer interesting compromises and challenges. This is an interesting sketch. At first, I was disappointed that the woman wasn't going to confront the issue, since the decision to have children (or not) is a MAJOR factor in a couple's relationship. Also, the man seemed a little too perfect. Hey, if it's a real person--that's terrific. I couldn't relate to this scenario myself since, well, I'm selfish and argumentative. Ha! But I've seen this phenomenon in couples where there's an unspoken, peaceful agreement that seems to work. It's a serene ending to a potentially disastrous situation. Thanks for sharing.

[Catastrophe]

What a beautiful story...wow...i enjoyed reading that tale..
very very sweet...awww *smiles*
great write

[Susan]

thanks for sharing. We all have our disagreements with those we love. i have mine with my boyfriend since we live miles apart.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I like this. I find the sudden change of his mind sweet. I love this little piece. Very nice! Thanks for entering it into the contest!!!
KH

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

You've grabbed the attention of the reader and kept me wanting to know more about the story. You caught the feeling of love that we question when we don't get our way or go our way. Good piece of work. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to read your work again.

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I really like the changes you made. It gives the story more depth and relatability. Be happy!

[Susan S.]

By never telling what the argument was about you've set up a question in the readers mind that they expect to be answered by the end of the story. Because you never say what it is, the reader feels unsatisfied, left hanging. They're less likely to come back.

You had some grammar issues, most just missing words and the like.

I really liked how the sentence is repeated over and over. I think you missed a good bet by not calling it "I don't want to think about it." or some such.

[Serendipity]

Loved it.

Had me from the very beginning. Couldn't stop reading. But I need to know what they were fighting about. What pain was in their hearts that they could not agree? I mean really, I need to know.

[[untitled]]

They've been - They'd been
sick out here - there

This is so sweet! I'm impressed, Sweetie! I want to know what they're arguing about. This story reminds me of my husband and I. We constantly argue about the same thing but the best agreements are the silent ones. :)