A past horror

This is to tell about Serene's childhood.

 

 

   "Mommy! Please don't go!" the little girl cried. Serene didn't want her mom to leave her no matter what danger she was in.

 

   "Baby, I have to. You're in danger just by standing next to me," her mother explained tears sliding down her cheeks. Seeing the tears made Serene cry harder and harder. Serene wrapped her little arms around her moms legs, not letting go for anything.  

 

   "Mommy, nooooo! I need you!" Serene cried blond locks falling in her face. Her mom kept trying to get her grip undone, but Serene wouldn't lessen it any. Both their faces are tear streaked and red from all the crying.

 

   "Baby, look at me," her mother demanded getting on her knees. She took Serene's hands and they both looked into each others   blue teary eyes. Serene smoothed her mom's frosted blonde hair trying to be strong for her mommy.   

 

   "I love you so very much. I love you more than life itself. You are my pride and my joy. I will be in your heart for the rest of your life, and please don't ever forget that! You are so precious, and don't let anyone tell you different! Who are you Serene?" Her mother asked tears falling freely out of her very own blue eyes. Serene almost couldn't answer over the sobs racking her little body.

 

   "I am my mommy's daughter! I am beautiful, I am courageous, and I am wanted," she cried the tears almost making her shake violently. The little girl wrapped her arms around her mother and squeezed her tightly never wanting the embrace to end. She never wanted to let her mommy go!

 

   "So what are you going to do when I leave?" her mom asked her.

 

   "I will hide under the bed until the police comes and gets me. Mom why can't they take you to?!" Serene asked almost pleading for her to do just that.

 

   "You won't be safe until we are far apart, baby girl," she replied standing up.

 

   "I don't want you to leave!" Serene screamed sobs making it harder for her to breathe.

 

   "Be a big girl Serene," her mom begged taking off the heart shaped locket from around her neck, " Wear this everywhere you go and please don't forget about me." She could tell that her mom was trying to hold back the sobs. Serene put the locket on and opened it. A picture of her mother holding her was placed inside. When she looked back up her mom was already by the door.

 

   "Now under the bed you go beautiful girl," her mom told her opening the door. Serene hid far under the bed and silenced her sobs. The door closing signaled that her mom had left. The door reopened and Serene heard her mothers boots before she seen them. Her mother had come back! She had changed her mind! Happiness flooded her heart. That was until she heard the other voices.

 

   "You thought you could just skip out and run, huh?" said a man with a husky voice.

 

   "I was going to get my daughter from her aunts," her mother said trying to keep her voice steady. Serene wanted to crawl out from under the bed and teach that man a lesson for talking to her mommy like that!

 

   "Your payment is due Dawn!" Said another man pulling out a long blade.  She saw her mother take a few steps back and gasp.

 

   "Your daughters next," the other man laughed.

 

   "Don't you touch her!" her mom screamed. Serene heard the blade swing through the air, and she heard the slicing of flesh. Her mother hit the floor eyes staring directly into hers.

 

   "Silent," her mother mouthed before the blade came down again ending her life. Tears forced themselves out of her eyes, but she managed to keep the sobs away until the two men left the apartment. Serene glanced out the window to make sure they were gone before rushing to her mother's side. They had stabbed her right in the heart, a vampires only weakness. Serene spent that night hugging her mothers dead corpse. The cops came twenty minutes later. But they were to late for her mom, the only person that ever meant anything to her.  

Author's Note

I really tried on this chapter so hard. I almost started crying writing this. Picture is of Serene's mother. Ik it's short

Reviews

[Hester Vane]

"out anywhere, and she's relatively nice." The word 'relatively' just seems odd there after you have said how amazing beautiful her mother was.

"and she heard the slicing of flesh." Would a four year old know what the slicing of flesh sounded like?

"But they were to late for her mom, the only person that ever meant anything to her." I would say that to most four year olds there mom is their entire world so I think this phrase is not needed. Maybe something else that is nice and sentimental.

You write great dialogue. I could clearly see how this conversation would go and the emotions behind it. I quite like how this flashback comes after the first scene too. It makes an interesting break in the present narrative.

[shallimarRose]

A little too graphic for me that the mom was killed right there and fell to the floor "eyes looking directly into hers" I cant even watch this stuff on tv... I do see you have good writing skills Rainy.. thanks for the rr.. Rose

[Avinash]

Strongest Chapter..I m not into vampires but the emotional side kept me hooked up

[Silent Wolf]

Oh my god. This was so sad, it was just amazing. A few spelling errors, like when her mother gave her the necklace, you said where when it should be wear.

[Angel]

And I'm weeping, reading it!
Yeah, it's a little short, but there's a lot packed in there. Whew, I'm emotionally exhausted.
Keep it coming, we can always edit it later...
Can't wait till the next chapter!!

[RainDancer1997]

I'm so happy you like it:) I really wanted something emotional to have happened in her past and I came up with that:)

[Lauren]

my god your gonna make me cry!

[RainDancer1997]

Hahaha I wanted to show a piece of her history and make it emotional:)

[Lauren]

well u did a good job!

[Prritiy]

nice again -as far as your writing style goes.

[Sharon Kim]

You did an excellent job capturing emotions! An interesting chapter, you've left me with questions again, which is great because I want to keep reading more!

In the second chapter, I'd love you to show the reader rather than tell the reader that her mom is relatively nice. Also, show that her mom is blond haired and blue eyed like you did with Serene rather than just stating it. Something like-She looked into blue eyes like her own. (not the best example, but I hope you know what I mean.) :)

You have awesome ideas! Keep writing!

[ThoughtsofShyann]

I loved and it is really emotional which I love!

[The Invisible Girl]

Awww! Poor Serene!! Great chapter! :) can't wait for the next one! :)

[RainDancer1997]

Thanks for reading, and I wanted to show a piece of her history.