native

native

A Chapter by PianoandPage

i am a native

a phoenician,

a re-ashed, rehashed and rehearsed play on words

 

and i’ve heard people say

that the heat here is

unbearable;

 

but i was born into it during

the deceptive month of december

and like the proverbial frog in hot water…

 

didn’t notice that cool

54 degrees gradually gave way

to julian heat waves where

 

triplicate digits

all middle fingers

raised to the heavens like a

 

sweltering “f**k you” salute

to the summer sun.

 



© 2009 PianoandPage


My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

It may have been written during an earlier period of your life, but it is still VERY good.

There are young poets everywhere, still in their pretentious period, who will latch on to work like this and wave it in the air, a banner for everything they believe in.

I'm glad you've decided to dust it off and share it here. :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

power packed and i dig the religious references and alliteration

Posted 14 Years Ago


I got a real bang out of this! Loved the word play, the sort of snarkiness throughout and the ending. The poem tripped lightly on the tongue from start to finish, and is a good example of how we start using the various poetic tools we're taught.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I really like the patterns you've woven into the words here - the internal rhymes and aliteration. As for the meaning, I took it to mean a transition into something much less comfortable. You've left your comfort zone behind in search for something, but you need to acclimatise and fast. The final lines are just ace: 'a sweltering "f**k you" salute to the summer sun.' The reader slides across it - and wants to join you in shouting at the sky.


Posted 15 Years Ago


Powerful stuff. Well-written you can really see the resilience the persona developed simply by not knowing there was any alternative. I love the way you use the metaphors. Hot water, a classic symbol, reframed. I love the image of the frog.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Who could resist dipping into their hero's past pretentions?
This is still better than any of my 'honest' work, especially in terms of presentation and attention paid to the art of wording. Some very strong images; digging the youthful rage haha.
Any chance you can make me feel better and share a poem you wrote long ago featuring rhyming lines such as 'love...above', 'cat...rat...mat' or similar? Or were you born a genius? :-)

Even though I like it a lot, I can understand where you're coming from by calling it pretentious, as it lacks a solid message; it's more about sounding off...but you did it beautifully.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

now, this is reall post-modern.. existentialists would smile at you. your approach which is emphasizing the existence of human as a free agent determining his own development through the act of the will. now this was existencia.

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

It may have been written during an earlier period of your life, but it is still VERY good.

There are young poets everywhere, still in their pretentious period, who will latch on to work like this and wave it in the air, a banner for everything they believe in.

I'm glad you've decided to dust it off and share it here. :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

441 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 13, 2009
Last Updated on March 13, 2009


Author

PianoandPage
PianoandPage

san jose, CA



About
My name is Amy and I am a 35 year old creative poet, writer, pianist, and lover of life and nature. I tend to write about my passions both good and bad. I love to challenge myself and improve my style.. more..

Writing
AUTOPSY AUTOPSY

A Poem by PianoandPage



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


superscript superscript

A Chapter by PianoandPage