tick

this is in response to a contest "what makes you tick". thank you to O! who got me out of my slump and inspired me to write something.

i am click tic

slow wink and unfound hellos

lost in the grave

shift my cells sift

on their 7 year journey

to remake me completely

 

you are the cohesion;

the seductive segue

to this subtle devouring

of me

by time and biology

 

your daily “i do’s”

defy the deterioration

of my heart

and lungs

which conspire together

 

to confess that you

my dear

still make me tick

 

 

Reviews

[Rachel DeHart]

This is really something... I feel like it would be better read aloud than spoken in my head. One because my heads kinda full at the moment, but also so I could hear you push certain words more than others.

But none the less. I really enjoyed this.
And I love these lines

"you are the cohesion;
the seductive segway
to this subtle devouring
of me
by time and biology"

Especially the line "the seductive segway" It is very sensual and allusive all at once. Amazing.
:]

[Emily B]

your daily "i do's"

defy the deterioration

of my heart

and lungs

which conspire together



to confess that you

my dear

still make me tick

AMAZING. I really felt this.

[Gandré]

It is a pleasure to read that you get understanding and live in harmony, this is real happiness. I like your metaphors. always an unusual search like no other.