800

 

 

 

i’ve learned a new language;

a new way of speaking.

linguistically

it’s sort of like the special olympics on speed.

 

i blame my job.

 

blabbering the same blab

to the same half-awake clients,

phonetics gets lost in the phone-lines

and my 13^th cup of joe.

 

now, i know i should take pride

in oratory excellence

after all i AM a devourer of words,

 

but i’m losing syllables as

osmosis by obligation

turns eloquence into efficiency.

 

“if you have any questions or have information regarding this event please call us back at 1-800-34onedayi’llgetoutofthisrun-onsentenceofajob.

 

thank you".

the answering machine always appreciates politeness.

 

and

communication becomes another cubicle

to fit your personality.

 

meaningless monotony

mangles my metaphors

morphing my melodies

into just more of the same.

 

at least i still have alliteration.

 

my girl is getting tired of asking me to repeat, asking me to repeat, asking me to repeat

what i just mumbled,

 

but

 

sometimes saying

 

i love you

 

carries a toll free tone.  

 

Author's Note

the original ending is
"And sometimes instead of saying
I love you
I�m giving her an 800 number." - which do you think is better? or makes more sense?

Reviews

[Staci Brown]

"And sometimes instead of saying
I love you
I'm giving her an 800 number."

that's my choice! :D i loved this piece! lol of course having worked in call centers myself i can definitely relate to your agony and misery and certainly your wit and brilliance in shedding some light on this issue! :D

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Hedra Helix]

Ohh ho ho thats dope, I mumble too. I think its an energy thing.

I'm clearest on paper despite wishing I was clearest in life, but its cool cos I just take the good instead of the bad n say f**k it, I'll be a writer, thats chill.

But, I thought we had a conversation awhile back about how you did spoken word, dude, thus YOU cant be loosin the crispness of your delivery! That wouldn't bode well for us other voracious word wanters. Nooooo....

;)

I liked this part best cos you already had me flowin then I saw this coming up and it was exciting

"but i'm losing syllables as
osmosis by obligation
turns eloquence into efficiency.

"if you have any questions or have information regarding this event please call us back at 1-800-34onedayi'llgetoutofthisrun-onsentenceofajob.

thank you".
the answering machine always appreciates politeness."

visual as well as phonetics were wavin hello, I dig ;)

Also, I like the end you're using, it gives more feeling IMHO.

[O!]

I prefer the toll free tone ending. The 800 number ending would seem like a repetition of the answering machine so i think the free tone is an much better!

Love the entire poem. Very unique and creative. Love the emotion. Love the 'osmosis by obligation'....

going to my faves for sure!

x,
O!

[Laura E. Aranda]

awwwwwwwwwwww the last line even before i read the author's note was my favorite
so so sad and yet completely honest! This one was the first piece that i read by you and i can't wait to delve into the rest! CHEERS,lea

[Rain Bo]

I like what you have there better. :)

[Melon Choly]

I like what you already have written - I totally get it - saying "I love you" falling on deaf ears, is so symbolic of the dead tone of a call - very well done ! I love this one, it envoked feelings of frustrations!

[April Child]

PS I like the ending just as you have it right here :)

[Rhonda]

I like the "original ending."

I really enjoyed this piece. Haha, I was thinking about how I liked the alliteration, right when you made the comment about it.

-R

[April Child]

I like it just as it is. You are a talent, you can make a poem out of the most unexpected subjects.. I was going to leave you a longer review but I got interrupted by a certain skype call :) Will have to come back to this....

[Ananke]

I like the original ending better.
This reminds me of my days working in a call center.

[Angel's Lady]

I like the ending you have on here. Much of life does become so remote control, doesn't it? Great write here! Good job!