dreams and dialogue

you dream of portal people

stealing you from my side

and i tell you from the shower

that i'd rip the fabric of space time

and dive in after

soap slippery and seriously

ready to kick phantom a*s.

 

this is how we say we love each other.

 

every morning i come home

and we sweep up your subconscious

sort out the symbolism

from the silliness.

 

sometimes i wish i felt more

kalel than clark kent

that i could reach inside

that residual world

and choke the doubt demons

that play in the shadows of slumber.

 

but even

 

jesus isn't a superhero; 

he doesn't fly around

clothed with spandex salvation.

bleeding out

moire patterns 

in technicolor

tragedy.

 

so i try not to crucify myself

for you.

 

i gotta stay real

and save your dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

this is now finished. thank you all for reviewing it.

Reviews

[Gandré]

"that i'd rip the fabric of space time

and dive in after

soap slippery and seriously

ready to kick phantom a*s." ------------------ha! I love you for this (yr gf forgives)
Stanza no 3: what a way to speak about a doubt, what another one...coudn't.. I feel it!

"jesus isn't a superhero;

he doesn't fly around

clothed with spandex salvation.

bleeding out

moire patterns

in technicolor
tragedy." ----------- I mean.........a deliciously painted tragedy of the christianity, how you see it. I saw it (and the other religions), too yet. not this brilliant way! wow. that s proud, straight forward. Works always. Bravo, sweetie. say hello to yr angel.

[Laura E. Aranda]

Awwwwww toe curl
This was so sweet..........it just made me smile
Not sure if this is a good or crappy review but all the same,I enjoy your refreshing style of writing!
Cheers,lea

[Raef C. Boylan]

Sometimes I need de-briefing after a haunting dream too, so this really spoke to me.
It is often the gesture and intention of heroics more than the ability to perform the impossible that appeals as part of a loving relationship. I like how this has both images of fantasy and mundane life - "and i tell you from the shower" [everday ritual].
The sentiment of this is lovely, and the execution skilful.
Great piece. I enjoyed it a lot.

[Patricia Thourne]

I'm impressed, yet again. You've got a simple, unprocessed manner of expression......though, sharp......limpid.
Such a gift, the expression of love through simple words, brilliantly crafted. My applause to you. =)

[Display Name]

hey great write, I really like the idea put forth in the line "sort out the symbolism from the silliness." maybe this is something we should all do daily.

[Emily B]

Oh, my! What an absolutely amazing way to tell someone you love them. It's what we all dream of . . .

[Leah Simone]

we sweep up your subconcious - and try to sort out - ( how beautiful)
your willingness to help her untangle herself from the tentacles
of dreams. This makes me think of someone who slips in and out
of reality, perhaps teetering on the edge - fragile and creative.
I think many artist types are this way - able to visit imaginary
worlds with such ease it feels as if they are abducted
by thoughts and unable to free themselves from the grips
of images playing in their heads - most of which are harmless
and make no sense at all, but then there are others that are
darker and more violent that can shake us with such fierceness
we need someone else to pull us out of their grip, someone
who will not make fun of us or judge us - just pull us back
to earth - as if to say - Hi darling, where've been?

Great images, I like this version.

Spandex salvation - only you would come up with that one! priceless!

[Touché Armada]

Is saying wow this is cool,,, really uncool? You know in that excited bouncy too much energy sort of way kind of quick,,, this is cool...
Cause I like it, its very bat man, with out the get up.
I'll have to come back in a bit and see if its grown or not.
Nice work :)

[Ninelilies]

I think you have a great start here. Talk about strong stanzas and comic book characters!

I think you've tapped into what it is like to love someone and their vulnerabilities, even working through them.

I especially love "so I try not to crucify myself/for you."

This piece is amazing. If it is just a start, I'm interested in seeing where you will take it. Wonderful--S

[April Child]

This is my kind of love poetry! You have an original style, uniquely yours. Fun to read but the meaning is unmissable. I can't quote the great parts, it's all great, so vividly descriptive I can see it all happening in front of my eyes with the kind of lines that I only see in your poems.

Last 2 lines bring it to a perfect close. Only place I faltered on reading aloud was 'for you' in second to last stanza.. seems to work for me without, just as "so i try not to crucify myself".