06/27/08

this actually started as a note to c boylan and then i realized that it really is how i feel right now and it is sort of poetic. a rant.

i am on the edge of tears.
the rant is tap dancing on my vocal chords
stacatto spit
boiling beats
i am billie club'd heart
i am pepper spray'd dream
secular sirens are silencing
my screams
the fists attached to my
anonymity
dig the earth
in search of seeds
hoping something grows
up.

Reviews

[Laura E. Aranda]

Literally I am forcing myself to hold in the overwhelming tears
There is beauty in words and you have such an undeniable ability to write and express trueness of meaning and feeling! I am so impressed! This is not another soothsayer review......
Cheers,lea

[holly]

This is a really fine piece of writing. You start with a sentence that it almost comforting in its familiarity and then quickly move us out of the comfort and into a deep, personal, intelligent rage - and finally into the most dangerous place of all: hope.

"the fists attached to my
anonymity
dig the earth
in search of seeds
hoping something grows
up."

The imagery, the slightest touch of alliteration, very very good.

[Ninelilies]

My...how to take a simple sentence and make it into something as powerful as the emotion. I especially like:

"the rant is tap dancing on my vocal chords/stacatto spit "

and

"i am pepper spray'd dream/secular sirens are silencing/my screams"

and then you end it with the hope of what you do when you have to suppress anger,

"dig the earth/in search of seeds/hoping something grows/up."

And the fact that it's being done with fists...very raw :)

I'm not quite sure what "billie club'd heart" ia. Could you enlighten me?

[Gandré]

My gosh, this is .....I started to read this poem and thought..."Salvatore Dali would love him!"
This like stains of artist's soul deepest surrealistic views.....hmm vanished, frightened and disappearing in the layers of your mind.....wow. Every word was right. Every line had to be. My friend Brian, now this is genius.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Yo. I knew it was special soon as I saw it
:-)

Great sibilance in lines 7 and 8.
That ending really hits hard; I read it as having a double meaning, like feeling ashamed for feeling the way you do, chastising yourself for 'immaturity', whilst also being the hope that your situation changes for the better. Probably wrong...probably 'projecting' as they say haha.

Honesty looks good on ya, pal.
Thanks for sharing this one with me again.

[Emily B]

I am always amazed at what happens in the spaces between us. Notes and rants and hopes pass between strangers separated by so many miles. This piece is another example of the magic of the cafe. Great write.

[Lady Lazarus.]

bloody amazing poem....
secular sirens are silencing
my screams
the fists attached to my
anonymity
is an awe inspiring few lines.
wow....