napkin poem

written on a napkin at a border's coffee shop.

russian violins
rush in
restlessly rhapsodic
as bows charge erotic
'crost the necks of mahogany martyrs
eliciting sacrificial screams and slinging them like sin
into this
sumptuous symphony.
oh me. abashed voyeur to this war of lovers
as musicians tell of maestro and muse laying claim
to these sighing/singing strings.
see now as with almost silent salutation
first chair rises to station and starts the
2nd movement with a solo so sweet and simple
that the mad musicians murmer into repose
as this new theme composes itself around the audience
and me.

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

Music makes the world move, in a billion directions.. I really like the sound repetition of first consonants it to me creates a sort of beat, different to strict meter but still a sort of sing song beat so in a poem like this it works,,, well at least thats what I think. Over all I think any write that expresses strings has a bit of gravity, very concert like in a compact format.

[Laura E. Aranda]

God bless Borders! Haven't we all scrambled for a pen
I can't tell you how many times I bought freakin' expensive notebooks just so i could write something hasty that would turn, in time, into something i was proud of....
cheers,lea

[Chelsea Hawkins]

I really loved this. I think it has something to do with me loving music--and being able to appreciate someone who feels the same way about it.
You did a magnificent job. I adored the alliteration at the beginning...and liked the similarity between "Russian" and "rush in". I don't know, it just went together so nicely.

Did you really write this on a napkin? S**t. I do that all the time. Sometimes I leave them behind for others to find, in hopes I'll make someone's day.

Other times, I can't resist taking them home.

[Jordan]

Ah, I absolutely love music, and I love this poem as well. This poem is a song within itself, expressed in a chorus of chords. Your consonance within the lines can really catch peoples' attention. Just, simply put and amazing poem, and I love to read your work.