Laughing

this is a quick write about cracking up uncontrollably with old and new friends while in a walgreens.

 

 

 

the catch and hook

the cackle

crazy continuous conundrum

static silliness swallowing lungfuls of

night

pinprick stars twinkling up our spines

ancient aches

reaching up through our teeth

stretched wide and unashamed

we speak in tongues

wagging and wailing

wild

we reel through aisles

rolicking on ragged breaths

rolling sides and heaving

minds

arms clutching onto shaking shoulders

for support

the gods danced in our bones

puppets of pan

and lackeys to loki

we stumble on our exhalations

and live

between the laughter.

Reviews

[Ninelilies]

Your poem reminded me of my college roommate...way to make the reader connect! The aliteration is mezmerizing.

[J. Hampton]

There is something so liberating about ....laughing in absolute abandon publically..
capturing each others eye...and understanding between peels of hysteria...leaving with watery eyes and feeling like you've done a good row of crunches!

The way you formatted the lines....long then short...and ended on odd meter ...gave this the feel of such a moment ....tdbits of composure inbetween...the aliteration made it all the better.

( Lord don't ever let me grow up )

Blessssssssssssss
Emily sent this...gald she did

[Cdnsurfer]

Thanks Em for sending this one to me. Loved the alliterations and the flow, staccato, like a good laugh. Well done. Well executed. There are so many good descriptive lines here, but I think my favourite is:

ancient aches
reaching up through our teeth

Thanks for the read! Rob

[Just Manoosh]

This piece is so bloody descriptive .... for want of a not such unique word its "brilliant" .... Mx

[Emily B]

ohhhhh, we do live between the laughter. I needed a reminder of that today. This couldn't have showed up at a better time. Here's to life and laughter.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Fantastic job of conveying this state of helplessness: caught in hilarity and loving it.
It's a really fun and entertaining read, as well as providing the joy that comes from relating to something wonderfully familiar in a poem.

Awesome alliteration also [heh heh]

I agree with one of the reviewers below, that "shivering" detracts a little from the atmosphere you've built up; we get what you mean - shaking - but the connotations of that word pulled me out of the laughter a little bit, if that makes any sense?

Thanks for writing and posting this.
Another demonstration of your amazing poetic skills.

[Tara]

I like the alliteration and the creative way you have penned this. My only stumble was "shivering" shoulders...took away the image of laughter and shivering, makes me think of fear or cold, not laughter. I personally love to dance down the aisles...you should try that one day. ;^)

[Haden]

so much fun to read! you stuffed so many great words in such a small space!! i adore it!

"puppets of pan
and lackeys to loki"

it was decadence and fun with a devious side. so much fun to read!

[April Child]

Well this is just brilliant. I am smiling the biggest smile just from reading. That is such a hard thing to capture, that absolute joy in uncontrollable laughter, that letting go and feeling free.... and feeling like you might be sick if you don't stop, cheeks hurting etc etc. You caught it beautifully. Can't buy these moments. Precious words.

[forfila]

I can really appreciate this work...... nice flow and meaning.