Counting Sheep That Wont Jump

To bed my body wants to go
But my mind will not relent
It wanders to and fro
And yet is never spent

I try methods to help with sleep
But they never do quite work
I've tried everything from counting sheep
The man who thought of that is a jerk

I count them one by one
1,2,3,4,5,5,5,5
But the fifth one refuses to jump or run
Well, he better start running to stay alive!

Damn stupid sheep!
Who thought of counting you?
You don't help with sleep
Only migraines that pound you!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
You woolly monster you!
I'm staying up 'cause that’s my choice
Not because you won’t jump too!

See what I'm dealing with everyone?
This is called sleep deprivation
It makes you crazy and it's no fun
It's almost worse than menstruation! ....

.... but not quite

Reviews

[C.J. Corcoran]

Wow. Just wow.

Normally I hate poetry - but this just made me giggle! And what makes it even more perfect is that everyone can relate to that lazy "Sheep That Won't Jump". Lovely imagery, and the conveyance of annoyance at the sheep was expertly conveyed! (If that makes sense. . . )

Well done, love it! (:

[alesuriko]

Wonderful! This is absolutely hilarious! I adore this poem so much! Damn sheep... they really never help, and I thought I was the only one who took a gun to the sheep that refuses to move so I could count the ones that come after it haha. I especially loved that you used "Don't look at me in that tone of voice!" I've never heard many other people other than me and a few of my friends and family who use that in everyday speech.

There are few lines where it gets a little awkward to read, in regards to the wording in rhythm, like the last stanza for example. "See what I'm dealing with everyone?" sort of threw off the rhythm for me. Also, in the line "The man who thought of that is a jerk" I think it might flow better if you used "that's" instead. Just a suggestion.

Once again, hilarious poem, great imagery. I loved everything about it. Nicely done!