Insomniac's Night

I think it's time I let you go...

To you, the first girl I loved, who ended up rewiring my whole brain to the point where I can't ever be in a normal relationship. Thank you for showing me a world where I can belong, but f**k you for ruining what I could have had with others.

To you, the short haired blond who finally said yes. Thank you for showing me that I'm still capable of love, and for being there during some dark times. But f**k you for giving me the best times of my life and leaving like you did.

To you, the Angel I've known for years. Thank you for sticking with me for so God damn long, through quite literally everything. All my graduations thus far, all my failed relationships, all the times when I wanted to quit and give up and give in to the darkness inside. But f**k you for stealing my heart and not returning it.

To you, the guy who I grew up with. Thank you for taking care of me when our guardian couldn't, but f**k you for not caring anymore.

To you, my guardian, who did the best you could to raise me right...thank you for that. But f**k you for all the late nights, the fights, and the terrible memories.

And...To you, yet again, the Angel who won't give me my heart back. Every day i think about you, and every day it hurts me. I want to be closer to you again, after all we've been through...but I know better.

And to you as well, you short haired blond. Some part of me still loves you, but I also realize that this time, these circumstances... We could never be together again. And that hurts, but... I feel it's for the best.

I feel that my time to leave has long been over due... But I've made promises to each and every one of you that I intend to keep, because no matter what, no matter how our relationships ended, no one could ever say I'm not a good person who keeps my word.

Sad part is... Only one of you will read this. And from you... I request that you reminisce about what we had. Think back to the feeling of our bodies pressed together, think back to the days where everything was lined up JUST right, and the future held endless possibilities...

Think. Remember. And I hope you feel just as hard as I do your arms around me, and your lips against mine. Because I'm tired of reliving this s****y excuse for a life alone...

Thank you for your time.

Author's Note

The "are you human" captcha for publishing this is "sorryish" and that couldn't fit this piece better.