A Personal Message

A year ago today we had the 5k and I ran to keep ahead of you and frog face. You two helped me get a time I didn't think was possible back then. Something around a 44:37 or something...and then later that day Mr. Ron, my old home parent from west, passed away. And I was stuck by myself trying to be okay... I didn't have anyone to help comfort me. I didn't want anyone to help comfort me. There was so much stuff going on in my life...it was all turmoil and destruction at that time. I couldn't wait to leave mch... that was supposed to make everything better. I was supposed to graduate and have everything sorted out within that first year. I made a goal to sign up for the military by December of 2016, and I accomplished that. I made a goal to try my best to stay alive through all the stuff that was happening to me after I graduated. I accomplished that. I made a goal to try to help you...and I failed. I made a goal to try to move on from you, and I accomplished that. Then I failed. I made so many goals on this day, April 9th of last year, and I fulfilled a lot of them...but it was by myself, when at that time I wanted you by my side to help me through the pain. But you weren't there. And because you weren't there, I didn't want anyone else. Today, a year later, I'm heartless. I'm cold. I'm distant. And I don't know how feelings are supposed to work anymore... but I'm not upset about that. I don't blame anyone for that. Its simply life, but when people ask me why do I act a certain way, or why do I say things that probably shouldn't be said, or how I feel about certain people... the one thing that pops into my mind is my past, and how much stuff I had to go through by myself. If I can make it through everything and still come out somewhat okay, then I know you can get through whatever it is that's bothering you. I cant say I still love you. I can say I love what you were supposed to be. I cant say that I care that your in a bad place. I can say that I care that you deserve better. A year ago today, my life was so different...a year from now, my life again be so different. A year can change a lot. Say what you mean, do what you want, and f**k the people who try to stop you. Its your life. No one else's. so do what you need to do to get what you want. Who knows, the people who you would like to say something to can die tomorrow...or later today. How would you feel about that?

Reviews

[Ethan]

I loved all of it except the very end. It feels a bit cliche, to be honest. Other than that, very nicely done :)))

[Raeven]

Thank you! Honestly I don't even remember writing this piece, it was a while ago,and reading it now I completely agree with you. The end could've been better, but I guess at the time it was written that's how I wanted it to end...thank you again!